“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater.
Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work:
The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to respond a certain way.
It is sick.
Punching someone in the face with get their attention. It is still very wrong and very hurtful to the victim.
The crazy thing about this excuse is how easily taken in Christians are with it. They let the cheater play the victim instead of holding them to account for intentionally engaging in abusing their spouse via sinful cheating.
Would they give them a pass if their act had been to punch their spouse in the face?
Adultery is abuse. It destroys lives and harms the faithful spouse. So much is stolen and broken in these situations.
Using abuse to get someone’s attention is NOT acceptable. So, cheating to get your spouse’s attention ought be be unacceptable as well!
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*A version of this post ran previously.
