For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.
-2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT
“…for better, for worse…”
These are familiar parts of the wedding vows in a Christian wedding ceremony. But do we really believe them?
I maintain that many pastors and Christian leaders do not. They support a narrative of marriage death where circumstances cause infidelity and divorce.
Instead of reminding couples that they made this promise, some pastors and religious leaders spend hours going over the “worse” in the relationship as a way to “excuse” the cheater for blowing up the marriage.
Now, I do NOT believe “for worse” includes marital infidelity as “forsaking all others” is another, important part of the vows as well.
My point in highlighting words in this common marriage vow is to expose “The Shared Responsibility Lie,” again. Both spouses vowed before God to work through the “worse” and not blow up the marriage via adultery. If not, then those words “for worse” mean nothing.
Also, I would point out the words about finances–“for richer, for poorer…”
A Christian marriage never ought to depend on the number in the bank account. If it does, then that means these words were just words on the wedding day.
A spouse who marries for wealth is dehumanizing the other. They are making them merely a paycheck. This is ungodly behavior.
Similarly, a spouse who marries just for looks is dehumanizing the other. They are making them merely a sexual object. This is ungodly behavior.
Do we need money? Yes.
Ought we to strive to be healthy? Yes.
However, our marriage vows become meaningless when either of those two values–money or looks–become the ultimate verdict on the marriage surviving. God calls us to something better!
*A version of this post ran previously.
