What a decade the 2010’s were for me!
I never would have scripted these years for me in the way they went down. However, I am grateful for the ending days of that decade.
At the start, I was still finishing up my seminary education at Yale while married to my cheater. The next couple years entailed her discarding me, my discovery of her infidelity, the divorce, and my ecclesiastical trial to keep my license (which I did). This decade started really rough for me.
Then just a little before the mid-point I met Mrs. DM. We got married, I became dad to Munchkin, passed my boards to become a Board Certified Chaplain (BCC), and I started this blog (July 2014) to name a few highlights.
I am so grateful how things have turned out. God has truly blessed me. Both professionally and personally God has overflown my cup.
For those of you facing this new year after a rough 2019, I want to encourage you. God is faithful. Keep your eyes on Him. He does not forget His servants. It does get better.
Thank you. I needed to hear this. My divorce became final on December 26, 2019, after over 21 years of marriage. You featured my story on your website in June 2019 (Dear DM, she said she deserves to be happy). I have full custody of our boys, who are now 13. They are angry and rarely speak to her and she visits them only occasionally. I’m still working on the sadness and healing.
Thank you for writing this blog, as it is so encouraging to others who are dealing with similar scenarios.
My divorce was final on December 12, 2019, after 23 years of marriage. I stood against him pursuing divorce, as I believe that marriage is a covenant. He abandoned me and our four children on December 1, 2018, and he never looked back. He clearly wanted to be single again, as he dated frequently, even while pursuing a divorce against me. He seldom has any contact with our children ( three of them are teenagers), and he has not actually seen them since May of 2019.
He also has a history of adultery during our marriage, but after he was caught 10 years ago, I thought that he was truly repentant. I was duped, as I clearly did not want to face the reality that he would never stop cheating on me. He was truly a wolf in sheep’s clothing, as he was heavily involved with church ministry, teaching classes, assisting with planting a church, and he was laying the groundwork for becoming a lay minister.
Sadly, he is repeating his sinful pattern again, as I have been told that he is attending a large church, and that he is pursuing involvement in ministry. That is so abhorrent to me and my children, but his parents see it as a sign that he has recovered from his sin and that my children need to forgive him and see him on a regular basis. My adolescent children are staunchly opposed to this, as they know that he has not been broken-hearted or repentant regarding his sin against God or us.
I continue to have serious concerns regarding how families and church leaders deal with marriage, adultery and the aftermath of divorce. They have no comprehension of how life altering these events are to the victim(s) of divorce. This truly is an area that needs to be explored, understood and discussed in our churches.