In my first marriage, we spent a significant amount of time going to couple’s therapy. This was done not because we were always troubled but for “preventative” maintenance. We even went to a marriage retreat before we got married.
Generally speaking, those sessions were a waste of time and money.
My second marriage has had much less (like zero) such sessions and is by FAR healthier than the first. Plus, it has lasted years longer already. We just started from a healthier and more mature place, I believe.
Now, I AM a fan of individual therapy with a good therapist. Sometimes you need a safe emotional “dumping ground” that isn’t your spouse. I appreciate having that place during especially stressful times.
Now, I do NOT write this to write off all couple’s therapists or pastors. Couple’s therapy and pastoral marriage counseling can be good and beneficial. But it depends on the therapist or pastor (not to mention the level on honesty of one’s spouse).
