When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
-Matthew 9:36, NIV
Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously
Critics of me and this blog often have the wrong picture of what this website is (By the way, thank you to all those who wrote in about what this website means to you. Your words are an encouragement and are helpful to correct wrong understandings of this place.)
Some think I am writing this blog about divorce as that is my name, Divorce Minister.
It is more than that. I write about the intersection of adultery and divorce in the Christian community as few pastors are willing or able to articulate the Gospel into those situations.
Some think this is my public personal journal or my sloppy emotional therapy session.
The persons who think this are usually the same ones who want to write off this blog’s messages and hope to see it shut down. If I had wanted to write a journal or find personal healing, I would have done so in private. That is not why DM exists.
Some think this is just a blog.
It is an online community designed to support adultery and infidelity victims. In a lot of ways, Divorce Minister is a virtual church. This ministry or community exists to care for those sheep who are lost and harassed by religious leaders on the issue of marital infidelity and divorce.
Christians who have never had the awful experience of discovering their spouse is cheating on them might not appreciate the importance of having this virtual space for the rest of us.
They do not understand how that fresh, traumatic, adultery discovery creates a day to day battle not to succumb to the demonic lies of worthlessness and suicide.
I post daily because I know how important that daily encouragement is for those in the early stages of recovery from the infidelity discovery trauma. This place is a way I throw out a lifeline as others did for me when I needed it.
In general, I created Divorce Minister because this voice is nearly silent in the Christian universe.
Sadly, pastors generally are quick to blame adultery victims. And they are slow to condemn adultery as wrong and fully the sin of the one who committed it.
So, to my critics and those who do not understand what this place is, I will answer the question explicitly:
What is Divorce Minister?
Divorce Minister is a virtual church community where we take adultery seriously!
Amen!
Your voice is certainly needed.
Thank you, Divorce Minister. As someone who hasn’t been back to church in way over a year, because of all that happened at my old church with the pastor and how they handled everything concerning my exes lying and adultery; I never looked at your ministry as “going to church” each day, but I have been! I just need to get my body out of the house and at least start trying on new churches to see if they are a fit for me.
This is off topic, but even picking a church lines up with my new “wisdom” of trusting my gut. I did not trust my gut when we first visited my old church. My first impression of the pastor was that he was pretty full of himself as he talked our ear off and he talked pretty much all about himself! And he took that right into MC – I swear our first meeting which was close to FOUR HOURS he talked over two hours about himself and his marriage. Red flag! Anyway, as I’ve learned over at Chump Lady and here, we need to trust our gut. I personally believe our gut reaction is the Holy Spirit speaking to us, so new Martha tries not only to listen but take appropriate action! 🙂
Thank you for writing to us each day! You are feeding and caring for Jesus’ lost and brokenhearted sheep. I find it sad that there are people out there that think you should shut down your blog. None of us are here because we just got divorced for the heck of it or “I’m not happy” like a lot of cheaters. We are here, because a lot of us cannot find comfort, help and support on a daily basis. Thank you again. 🙂
Thank You!
Please keep writing everyday. As a dad of five I’m dealing with the fallout of an adulterous ex-spouse on a daily basis.
I find your posts very comforting and spot on.
As I’ve gone through this process, I’ve been amazed at how tolerant “Christians” are of adultery. I like you am attacked and told I was to blame because my was was not happy.
Thank you for creating this community.