Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
-Matthew 7:5, NLT
When a cheater sees the faithful spouse as the greater transgressor in the relationship, I see no hope for a godly reunion and restoration of the marriage.
The cheater is in denial. He or she is not align with the spiritual reality of how devastating their sin is. Without facing such reality, I cannot see how healing can even begin for the marriage.
This is not to say faithful spouses are without sin or transgression in the marriage. We are all sinners (Romans 3:23).
However, the cheater focusing on the faithful spouse’s sins is like focusing on the speck and ignoring the huge beam in their own eye as Jesus teaches here in Matthew.
Another metaphor might be helpful…
The cheater is dynamiting the foundation of the marriage “house” by continuing in lies and infidelity. When the cheater chooses to focus on the failure of the faithful spouse to “dust” the house, the cheater is really missing the point.
The dusting issues are only worth addressing once the dynamiting behavior is stopped and addressed.
