There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes….-Proverbs 6:16-18a, NIV
Sad to say, I suspect many cheaters have planned out their deception and their exodus from the marriage.
This is especially true–I suspect–when it comes to cheaters who have cheated for months or even years. They had to put considerable effort in devising the deception that kept it all going.
Remember, that is who your cheater is!
They will whine or cry bloody murder when asked to invest in you or the marriage relationship. Yet they had time to scheme and lie. A hefty amount of effort was and is fine for them as long as it is directed toward their affair(s).
These people are NOT your friends!
They plotted out this evil. So, do not be surprised if they have also plotted out how to discard you and steal as much money as they can while doing so. You do not want to leave yourself vulnerable to someone who has demonstrated contempt for you and an ability to deceive.
Be smart.
Assume they have schemed. Then get professional help–like a good, tough lawyer. It stinks, but that is the reality of dealing with a world full of evil.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
I believe cheaters will always steal from you financially, and they will steal as much as they can. Whether they bank it somewhere else or just spend it on their co-sinners.