Beware that the ending of your marriage leaves you vulnerable!

I am not suggesting living in fear. However, I recommend a sober-eyed assessment about how your needs leave you open to unhealthy relationships.

In separation and early divorce, you are grieving and learning how to deal with loneliness and loss of intimacy with the opposite sex.

It is hard to assess romantic relationships at this stage. The difficulty lies in our neediness in this juncture.

So, be careful!

Your heart is precious; don’t sell it out for short-term relief that ends in even worse pain. This is a good time to lean on solid brothers (for men) or solid sisters (for women). The hope is to have safe relationships free from romantic entanglements. It is easier said than done. I know. The temptation is real to focus on a replacement partner. But you would be selling yourself short if you did that. Give yourself the gift of kindness and space to heal.

Now, I am not a legalist on these matters.

I am not of the old school that sets a rigid time post-divorce before you are “allowed” to date. That is unhealthy and paternal, in my opinion.

Realistically, we all heal at different rates. One size does NOT fit all in this journey!

Also, I understand sometimes long-existing friendships with the opposite sex can be life-giving as well. I get that the general rule does not always work.

However, a wise faithful spouse interacts with caution in those relationships as you have changed–i.e. you are now more vulnerable than you were in the past with those relationships.

      ____________ *A version of this post ran previously.

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