Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
-Proverbs 12:18, NLT
Please, faithful spouse, do not rely upon the words of your cheater for your identity (or healing)!
A cheater is a liar as one cannot cheat without lying. This calls all their words into question. Knowing this about them calls everything they say into question.
It is a hard transition from trusting this individual as the most important one person in the world to holding their words out as essentially worthless.
Yet that is a transition that needs to be made. You CANNOT rely on what a cheater says! It must be backed by action and accountability.
Plus, cheaters are known to tear you down to make themselves feel better.
Why allow their criticisms air time in your head?! Consider the source. This person is completely morally bankrupt and their criticizing you!
Sadly, you cannot safely trust a word that comes out of your cheater’s mouth. That is true for both their willingness to end the cheating and how they try to “define” you. Don’t forget that!
Excellent advice that I wish I had known sooner !
My priest was the first one to explain this to me. His words were very helpful in guiding me to no longer seek external validation, especially from the woman who unrepentantly cheated on me.