They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.
-Romans 2:15, NLT
Sometimes cheaters become crueler to their spouses when they are actively engaged in infidelity.
They cheat and attend couples counseling where they tell the counselor or pastor about how awful the faithful spouse is while failing to mention their own infidelity.
If a faithful spouse gets “uppity” and demands something so “unreasonable” as ending the affair, the cheater attacks and makes counter demands as if they are entitled to more from the faithful spouse.
In part, I think cheaters are cruel because the moral law is written on their hearts as Paul says in Romans 2:15.
Cheaters cannot escape their own consciences that condemn their behavior. But they will sure try!
So, cheaters off-load their pain over their morally bankrupt behavior upon the victim of their sins: the faithful spouse!
-Just because a cheater is acting cruel does not mean you are wrong to ask for something like the ending of an affair.
-Just because a cheater blames you does not mean you have to accept their blame for their own sinful behavior.
-Just because a cheater looks miserable does not mean you made them so by your “failures.”
And just because a cheater is upset does not mean you did something wrong; rather, it might be the tell-tale sign that they are doing something wrong!
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*A version of this ran previously.