Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
I Corinthians 7:15, NASB
When a partner is abusive and leaves or forces a faithful partner to separate, is a divorce an option for the abused partner if both claim to be Christian?
In other words, does I Corinthians 7:15 only apply to those who do NOT claim to be Christian. Or can this text apply to situations of abandonment even with those professing to be Christian?
These are hard questions.
I Corinthians 7:15 forces us to ask the question of whether or not a spouse is a Christian. It puts us in an awkward place of deciding this spiritual status.
Personally, I feel icky making such an assessment of another person. God decides who is a true follower or not, in my opinion.
However, we have to make this assessment if we are to properly handle this Scripture as it comes to marriages with partners possibly both claiming the Christian identity.
First, we need to understand that a claim to be a Christian does not necessarily settle the matter.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:21 and 23–
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. … And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’”
-Matthew 7:21, 23, NKJV
A profession of faith in Jesus is not enough. We must actually know Jesus.
What does that mean as it comes to a lifestyle of spousal abuse–aka a lifestyle of sin?
I John 3:6 (NIV) tells us:
No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.
These verses taken together give us clear indication of who truly follows Jesus and who is just giving lip service to their allegiance to Jesus as Lord. The true follower does not persist in sin. They repent, not double down on sinful wickedness.
Since being known by Jesus is a requirement for salvation and a person willfully stuck in a pattern of sinful abuse does not know Jesus per I John 3:6, we can be fairly confidence an unrepentant spousal abuser falls into the unbeliever category based on their actions.
Ultimately, God knows the eternal destination of this person. However, as it comes to applying Scripture to matters regarding divorce, I personally and pastorally have no problem teaching divorce is allowable in situations of spousal abuse.
A spouse abusing another spouse has pushed them away, and their continuing abuse is a sign of allegiance to the world over Christ. I Corinthians 7:15 thus applies for the abused party.
So–according to my interpretation of Scripture–the abused party is allowed the option of divorce and freedom from a spouse who has demonstrated an unwillingness to live in peace with the abused spouse.
That said, I understand other well-meaning and sincere Christians may interpret and apply these verses differently. I am only sharing how I read them and invite all to come to their own conclusions.
*Some abusers may take this very hard. They might insist their victim is playing God by making such an assessment of their salvation. I just point out the Scripture here. If God did not want us assessing others by their behavior or fruit, then why bother giving us these verses? We can only assess by actions/fruit. How else are we to assess an abuser who feels entitled to abusing their partner other than as a person uninterested in following a God who is utterly opposed to such sin?
**A version of this post ran previously.
