“You just weren’t right for each other.”
-Christian (giving a pass to the cheater)
I find this sort of Monday morning quarterbacking annoying.
It is obvious that a cheater and faithful spouse have different values based on their actions. That alone says that they are not compatible.
If we knew our spouse was going to be a cheater, I doubt we would have married them in the first place!
Also, I have a hard time accepting these sort of excuses when they are given to a cheater. It sickens to me to think “Christian” counselors or pastors are suggesting compatibility–as in personality compatibility–is a determining factor as it comes to biblical divorce.
Where is THAT written in the Bible?!
I would love to know.
Now, I agree that we ought to do proper vetting before we marry someone. That includes exploring value alignment and personality compatibility.
The “game” changes when wedding vows are exchanged.
Advice given to a dating–even engaged couple–about ending the relationship is no longer wise advice. God takes our marriage vows seriously.
What may have been fine and wise reasons to end a dating relationship are not good or godly reasons to end a marriage.
This is important to keep in mind. Because if we trivialize the marriage vow commitments, we trivialize the marriage union. We cheapen the institution.
That said, adultery and abuse are neither trivial or ungodly reasons to divorce. I think God makes provision for such grounds for divorce (see Matthew 19:9, I Corinthians 7:15, etc.)
I just hate the idea of “Christian” counselors or pastors telling the cheater to divorce their faithful partner because they “just aren’t right for each other.”
That is just wrong.
