Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”
But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” – Job 2:9-10a, NKJV
His wealth was all stolen.
His livelihood is gone.
His children were killed.
And his own health was taken.
Adding to this, Job has a bunch of friends who come and blame him–more or less–for these calamities. Plus, to top it all off, his own wife advocates suicide for him as seen in the quoted passage above.
Talk about dire circumstances.
But Job doesn’t cheat on his wife. He does not commit adultery as Scripture reports. Nor do we hear Scripture teach us that infidelity is an acceptable–i.e. righteous response–to such circumstances.
No.
Rather, we watch as Job holds fast through his suffering trusting God despite all these awful circumstances visited upon his life.
I point this Biblical fact out to expose “The Shared Responsibility Lie,” yet again. This book is ideal for the “circumstance-made-me-cheat” crowd with one glaring exception: Job is not reported to have either divorced his wife or committed adultery.*
He is not providing for his wife (see Job 1:21).
He is silent and–arguably–emotionally unavailable (see Job 2:13).
He is refusing to take responsibility for what happened to his family, even (e.g. Job 9:21).
I am not saying these are acceptable circumstances in marriage. They need addressing. However, along the lines of some evangelical pastors’ teachings regarding marriage and divorce, Job’s wife would have had a pretty “strong” case here to divorce Job.
But Scripture does not teach that.
It is not even part of the discussion in the entire book.
Nor does it teach adultery as a healthy or righteous response to suffering. If anyone suffered unjustly and had a reason to cheat based on stinky circumstances, Job did. But he didn’t. No comfort “affair” taught here.
Job kept his integrity.
He did not commit adultery.
Next time a pastor or Christian leader tries to justify infidelity based on marital circumstances, point them back to the case of Job. Challenge them to explain why God does not teach us infidelity is acceptable in those circumstances when they are likely far worse than present day marital/life circumstances. My point:
No justification remains for cheating.
Job did not do it.
Neither ought you or your (ex) spouse.
*Job does father more children at the end of the book as likely children of another wife through the practice of polygamy (i.e. not adultery) as polygamy was acceptable in the days of the Old Testament. Those children were not the result of adultery as they were likely born under the bond of marriage as these children are reported as legitimate heirs (Job 42:15).
DM, I’m so glad to see this particular post on Job. During the past two and a half years I gave a lot of thought to poor Job and his dire circumstances. I also thought about Joseph and the awful things his own brothers did to him! It helped carry me through the incredible pain I was enduring with not only my cheating husband and his notorious affair he flaunted in my face, but also the lung cancer battle I had to deal with! My one thought was that Job and Joseph never cursed God. Instead their faith in him was stronger and deeper than ever. They put their belief in his mercy and God delivered them! God’s love is the one and only constant in my life I knew I could depend on during all this awful chaos and he delivered me safely on the other side of my nightmare. I was raised Catholic and I really never realized how much or how deep my trust in God was until I had no one but God to truly depend on. I fervently prayed and then wholly rested my fate in his hands. I was truly at peace during some of the roughest times I had ever known. Today I have divorced my cheating husband and got the settlement he swore he would never sign. I am cancer free and I am content with my life. The story of Job was a gift I gratefully studied. Thank you for all you and Mrs. DM do for us! You are heaven sent!
You’re amazing Roberta! So happy for you. You are an inspiration!
Thanks for the kind words, Roberta! So glad to hear God moved mountains for you. What a testimony! Thanks for sharing.
-DM