Rescue me, Lord, from evildoers;
protect me from the violent,
who devise evil plans in their hearts
and stir up war every day.
They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s;
the poison of vipers is on their lips.-Psalm 140:1-3, NIV
Cheaters know what they are doing.
-They lie to avoid giving the faithful spouse the power that comes with knowing.
-They steal because they know the faithful spouse will not approve of their giving to another lover.
-They abuse because they refuse to take responsibility for the evil they have unleashed and repent.
These dynamics are dynamics each Christian needs to understand before offering any advice to faithful spouses. The faithful spouse does NOT need to suffer the consequences of another Christian’s naivete.
I still get upset when I think about all I endured when I think about it in any depth.
One reason faithful spouses get so upset about what happened to them is they lived through the abuse and manipulation of their cheater. It was nasty stuff, folks!
Cheaters and their supporters might have even weaponized the faithful spouse’s commitment to honoring God to further manipulate them.
I believe this happened to me.
And this is why I created this blog. I know I am not alone in that experience, and my hope is this blog will provide some much needed shepherding through such abusive practices.
If you want to learn about the depravity of humans, just listen to a story or two from a faithful spouse about how their adulterous spouse treated them.
If you want to discover what tactics Satan uses to destroy people, just listen to the tactics used by cheaters in manipulating and otherwise attacking faithful spouses.
It is not pretty. However, awareness is the first step to dealing with such evil as the Bible teaches us (see 2 Cor 2:11).
Make no mistake:
Mine used my faith against me. When he blindsided me with his divorce I began to get angry and he said “Ut oh! Careful!! You’d better not sin in your anger! That’s not very Christian like!!”
Then when I confronted him with photos of him and his affair partner who is half our age, he laughed at me and I started to get angry at him and he said “Ut oh! Careful!! You’d better not sin in your anger! That’s not very Christian like!!”
They both still come at me. They both tell me to be the bigger “older” Christian example and not sin in my anger.
It’s disgusting.
All of it.
Yeah, it took me a while before I broke that “be a good Christian” lever off. Consider the source. Who cares if they think you aren’t being a “good” Christian? They certainly aren’t bothered by breaking the Ten Commandments themselves.
“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5).
I’d probably just quote the above verse and walk away… 🙂
Always good to go with the Bible