Where are the “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?”
Sure, there are plenty of “affair-proofing” marriage seminars. But I am talking about the sort of seminars where pastors talk about adultery and taking personal responsibility for one’s own sins.
Instead of talking about the horrors of divorce–like pretty much every pre-marital book I read does–why not talk about the horrors of adultery and the destruction it causes?!
So often, the “Christian” marriage retreats are designed to teach spouses how to avoid divorce and communicate better. That is not all bad.
However, such teaching and such a focus makes something that is not always a sin–i.e. divorce–of more concern than something that is always a sin–i.e. adultery.
That seems to be a backwards priority, IMO.
Agreed! It releases the adulterer from responsibility.
I’m getting very frustrated with pastors pushing forgiveness as the cure for divorce. They rarely (if ever) mention adultery or other forms of abuse as being the cause of the friction between spouses. Unforgiveness and divorce becomes the problem not the adulterer’s betrayal.
Preaching forgiveness without signs of repentance sets faithful spouses up for more abuse. It shifts the blame onto them for not being forgiving!
I think it’s time the church begins to support & protect victims with a few messages on what forgiveness is not ( does not = trust, forgiveness w/o repentance does not = reconciliation…..)
Sadly, your experience is not unique on this matter. Even with an admission of sexual infidelity in my trial, four other evangelical pastors continued the “fact finding” looking for other reason(s) the marriage ended in divorce. Godly, commonsense would stop at adultery.