If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.
-Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT
Cheaters sometimes choose adultery as a way to totally blow up their marriage on the way to abandon their spouse via the divorce discard.
In my opinion, this is especially evil. It is spiritual and emotional violence targeted at the faithful spouse. Such behavior is cruel and absolutely wicked.
They could behave like an adult and choose to (sinfully) divorce the faithful spouse because they want to pursue their own selfish ways.
However, most cheaters aren’t adults in maturity. They choose the path of contempt and cruelty towards their faithful partner.
The Bible labels adultery evil for good reason. It isn’t a neutral matter. It isn’t life-giving activity. It isn’t positive in any way.
Adultery is utterly destructive and devastating.
The person using adultery as way to exit a marriage is a person who either is dead to others’ pain or enjoys inflicting excruciating pain on their target–i.e. the faithful spouse.
It is evil. And it should never be minimized. Wicked people do such things.
In what was supposed to be a marriage counseling session, my (now former) wife said, “I knew I could not leave the marriage on my own. So I surrounded myself only with those who would allow me to do what I intended to do.” These words cut so deeply as they showed her horrendous actions against our marriage were very much premeditated and intentional. I had never heard of an “exit affair.” It took me over three years to process all that occurred in only a few months at the end of a 21 year marriage. I am in a better place now, but it took a great deal of spiritual counsel and guidance to navigate the overwhelming grief.
It is such a nasty and cruel thing to do.