The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning….
-Job 42:12a, NASB
So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that they ought to do so biblically.
What is rare or–even non-existent in some Christian communities–are stories about how life can become better following a divorce of a cheater.
It can and does get better.
Maybe not immediately. Grief work takes time.
Rebuilding one’s life after the disaster takes time as well.
When a hurricane destroys your home, you do not generally expect a better house to rebuilt on the same location the next day.
The same idea works here. “Hurricane Infidelity” destroyed your home, and it will take some time to rebuild.
That said, it can and does get better. I testify from my own experience. And other faithful spouses can echo this truth.
You do not have to tolerate the terror and contempt of living with a compulsive, lying cheater. God gives you a way out: a godly divorce.
I would add that it can get better only if you deal with the original source of the destruction–i.e. the cheater and their cheating deceit.
This must be addressed either through divorce or through full repentance upon the cheater’s part. If not, then you are just rebuilding for the cheater to destroy your home again. And you will not get the lost months or years back. Remember that.
Sure, divorce is destructive and painful. Granted.
However, living with the contempt and cheating of an unfaithful spouse is far worse than cutting them loose via divorce and allowing them to follow their own sinfully destructive ways on their own.
*This post ran previously.
Divorce Care helped. It was good to have a group of people that understood the pain. I did want to see more practical day to day advice for rebuilding your life in the course. Perhaps that could be another follow-up course.
I went through that group twice, and I had wonderful leaders. It was very helpful for me, too. The leadership and mix of the group makes a big difference. Some of the materials I have issues with today knowing what I do, but it was certainly a gift to have something like that when I SOOO needed it.