Infidelity is like the incoming tide to your sand castle marriage.
It obliterates all the hard work done to create a beautiful relationship. It undermines everything. Then it washes it all away like it was never there.
Such is marital infidelity.
Whether the sand castle was already falling down or whether it was a “Taj Mahal” like edifice matters not. The “tide” of infidelity ensures it all goes away with one crashing wave.
This is why I find it rather unhelpful to diagnose the status of the marriage prior to infidelity. It is pointless. The infidelity ensured its doom whatever the status of the marriage prior to the cheating.
Similarly, rebuilding a marriage after infidelity is pointless as long as marriage is in danger from such “tides” of infidelity.
It is a bad investment to rebuild with the awareness that you are still within striking distance from another “wave.” Sometimes, you need to simply cut your losses with a divorce and decide to build elsewhere.