God is not blind to the injustices you are suffering!

9 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed,     a refuge in times of trouble. 10 Those who know your name trust in you,     for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. -Psalm 9:9-10, NLT Part of the struggle following infidelity discovery is how the injustice sometimes feels unseen or devalued by outsiders. Faithful spouses are … Continue reading “God is not blind to the injustices you are suffering!”

A prayer to help in the healing process

Here’s a prayer I wrote for anyone struggling letting go of anger towards a cheater and their apologist(s). This prayer serves as a reminder that we have a say in letting go of our anger, which is based on our trust in God’s character. In my experience, we have to practice choosing to let go over and … Continue reading “A prayer to help in the healing process”

Some ways to help a faithful spouse

A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Some ways to help a faithful spouse”

O, foolish and angry cheater!

A wise man fears and departs from evil, But a fool rages and is self-confident. -Proverbs 14:16, NKJV This proverb caught my eye today. I think it fits, sadly, many cheaters and others fully committed to their sin. They are angry when called on their folly while also confident in being “right.” This is not a new … Continue reading “O, foolish and angry cheater!”

Some sick people poke you for a reaction. Don’t give them the satisfaction!

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. -Proverbs 25:28, NLT For God will never give you the spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love, and self-control. -2 Timothy 1:7, TPT Some cheaters thrive off of provoking the faithful spouse to anger. I believe this. It … Continue reading “Some sick people poke you for a reaction. Don’t give them the satisfaction!”

Outrage of Cheaters

Cheaters often use anger as a way to avoid responsibility. You might have caught them red handed. Instead of repenting then and there, they turn on you with anger: -Maybe they blame you for “snooping” or otherwise invading their sacred privacy? -Maybe they use the occasion to say you forced them into this (sin)? -Maybe … Continue reading “Outrage of Cheaters”

Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce

If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce”

“Root of bitterness” manipulation

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too spineless to … Continue reading ““Root of bitterness” manipulation”