When I got divorced back in 2012, I had a good divorce lawyer. She was probably the clearest-eyed professional in the whole saga ending. It was a flat fee sort of thing. Looking back, I am grateful that somehow I found this lawyer seeing how divorce attorneys can be very expensive. (It was definitely a … Continue reading “Grateful for my secular divorce lawyer”
Category: Cheating
Cheater offering “honesty”
“Well, I have learned that I have to be open and honest. You never… (Cheater’s pet peeve about faithful spouse).” -Cheater to Pastor in Couple’s Session Does this ring a bell for anyone? If it does, I submit it does as it is part of the demonic playbook to destroy faithful spouses. To be clear, … Continue reading “Cheater offering “honesty””
Faithful to the faithful
25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity. 26 To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. 27 You rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud. -Psalm 18:25-27, NLT God is faithful. And God is not fooled by the behavior of Cheaters. … Continue reading “Faithful to the faithful”
Golden Rule: Telling Other Partner
Do to others as you would like them to do to you. -Luke 6:31, NLT If you know someone is cheating on their spouse, do you tell the faithful spouse? In a word: YES!!! Now, that does not mean you have to tell them immediately. However, I figure the Golden Rule applies here. Would you … Continue reading “Golden Rule: Telling Other Partner”
Cheater-Speak: “I never intended to hurt you.”
“I never intended to hurt you,” says Cheater. “Whatever. That does not excuse you for horribly sinning against me,” replies Faithful Spouse. Cheaters professing golden intentions are trying to minimize what they did. It is a move to sanitize their image. They do not want to think or others to think that they are that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I never intended to hurt you.””
Cheater-Speak: “My toxic shame”
“Talking about it just triggers my toxic shame. I can’t face what I did.” -Cheater This is a real conundrum for a faithful spouse. It is hard to heal when you do not have some of the basic facts and your spouse is refusing to help on that number citing “toxic shame.” The “toxic shame” … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “My toxic shame””
Yes, demonic.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. -I Peter 5:8, NKJV When I speak of the demonic and cheating, I want to be clear. I do NOT believe or support the idea of a cheater being a mere victim of the demonic. … Continue reading “Yes, demonic.”
Misplaced Concern
“I really hope he didn’t feel uncomfortable with anything,” says Cheater. “What about my comfort with how things are? Why are you more concerned about him than me, your husband?” says faithful spouse. Being a good host is one thing. Taking a particular guest’s opinion and comfort into consideration OVER your spouse’s is another thing. … Continue reading “Misplaced Concern”
Done to provoke
Just because your Cheater attends marriage counseling does NOT mean they really want to work on themselves and the marriage. They might be there to provoke you with a witness. Then they can label you crazy or angry as “justification” for their discard. Cheaters are not above using therapy or pastoral counseling to manage their … Continue reading “Done to provoke”
Cheater Rage Shield
If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? -I John 4:20, NLT Cheater Rage Shield I wonder if you ever experienced your Cheater seeming to get angrier the less … Continue reading “Cheater Rage Shield”