I don’t get faithful spouses wanting to be friends with their Cheaters. Sure, there’s pressure to do this “for the kids” if kids are involved. Some may feel pressure from outsiders to do this to not burden them with the ugliness that is reality. It makes sense for Cheaters to want this–i.e. to be “friends.” … Continue reading “I don’t get it.”
Category: Forgiveness
About power
25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you.” -Matthew 20:25-26a, NIV Cheaters lie to hold power over faithful spouses. “Knowledge is power” as the saying goes. This means Cheaters are careful to control who has … Continue reading “About power”
No forgiveness without wrongs acknowledged
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -I John 1:9, KJV What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong? It is worthless. They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them … Continue reading “No forgiveness without wrongs acknowledged”
Forgiveness as act of trust
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “Forgiveness as act of trust”
Called to ministry of reconciliation. To Cheaters, too?
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading “Called to ministry of reconciliation. To Cheaters, too?”
Shake off your Cheater’s dust!
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shake off your Cheater’s dust!”
Do not enter! …their warped reality.
There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise. –Proverbs 26:12, NLT They traded the truth about God for a lie…. –Romans 1:25a, NLT Cheaters can come across as so confident in their lies. This confidence has the power to make even the most stalwart faithful spouse second-guess their instincts, hard evidence, … Continue reading “Do not enter! …their warped reality.”
Alluring Premature Forgiveness
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT What I find interesting is how much advice is given to faithful spouses about forgiveness as if this is the hardest part–convincing faithful spouses of the importance of … Continue reading “Alluring Premature Forgiveness”
Pining after Cheater-Ex?
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Cheaters enjoy being the center of your attention. The best revenge is one where they are irrelevant to your life. You are too busy with the new life God has given you to even think of … Continue reading “Pining after Cheater-Ex?”
Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!
No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. -Job 2:13b, NIV Forgiveness does NOT erase the effects of trauma! You can both forgive and still be revolted by your cheating spouse. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am annoyed with pastors and churches pushing traumatized faithful spouses … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!”