Letting go of trying to limit their destructive path

One of my most important and hardest lessons that I teach is… You only control you. I think it is a common impulse to seek to warn others about your ex. This is especially true–I think–if they are in the helping professions where people are vulnerable to them. The impulse to do this–at least for … Continue reading “Letting go of trying to limit their destructive path”

Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!

Why create an infidelity abuse survivor support group? When I went through my experience of divorce from my Cheater, nothing like this existed. The closest is a national Christian ministry for divorce situations in general. That syndicated ministry was helpful because of the excellent local leaders. Yet it was not exactly what I needed. Unique … Continue reading “Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!”

All forgiven? Nope. God does not forgive everyone.

“And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” -Matthew 7:23, KJV While I believe God makes forgiveness available to all (John 3:16, 2 Cor 5:14, etc), I do not believe all are forgiven. This verse from the Sermon on the Mount makes that much clear. … Continue reading “All forgiven? Nope. God does not forgive everyone.”

Only leverage

The wicked flee though no one pursues…. -Proverbs 28:1a, NIV Disturbed people only see a history of cheating as leverage in a marriage. They could care less how the cheating has damaged and harmed the faithful spouse. The bigger problem for them is that they fear the faithful spouse “forever” holding it “over the head” … Continue reading “Only leverage”

Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy!

Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy! When we forgive, we do not forget. The experiences we have had stay with us–especially the hard ones. Few things are harder than discovering your spouse cheated on you! I am sure I will carry the technicolor memory of my ex-wife quasi-confessing her cheating on Thanksgiving Eve 2012 for the … Continue reading “Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy!”

Restitution and forgiveness according to Jesus

But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son … Continue reading “Restitution and forgiveness according to Jesus”

“For the kids” Really?!

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading ““For the kids” Really?!”