“I’m concerned that you will hold this [affair] over my head forever if I stay,” Cheater declares. A cheater who makes such a statement is still more concerned about themselves than the trauma they inflicted on their spouse by cheating. The statement really is revealing. Such a cheater still believes it is about their wishes … Continue reading “Holding it over their head forever?!”
Category: Forgiveness
“Taking Adultery Seriously” Still
8 Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce…. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NKJV Now, over a decade ago, I started this ministry for people dealing with infidelity abuse. One might think taking adultery seriously would be uncontroversial of … Continue reading ““Taking Adultery Seriously” Still”
Nineveh and God’s Forgiveness
“The people of Nineveh will stand up against this generation on judgment day and condemn it, for they repented of their sins at the preaching of Jonah. Now someone greater than Jonah is here–but you refuse to repent.” -Matthew 12:41, NLT Jesus spoke these words to some religious folk in his day. Does repentance seem … Continue reading “Nineveh and God’s Forgiveness”
Book Review: FORGIVENESS AFTER TRAUMA by Susannah Griffith
“In the Bible, lament takes up more space than teaching on forgiveness…. Don’t talk to me about forgiveness unless you’ve made space for me to lament the full story–the messy parts, the painful parts, the parts I wish I could forget, even the parts I’m grateful for. Don’t talk to me ab out forgiveness until … Continue reading “Book Review: FORGIVENESS AFTER TRAUMA by Susannah Griffith”
Blind to the wreckage
“I would forgive anything. I want us to stay married,” says desperate faithful spouse. “But you would always hold it over my head,” responds heartless Cheater. The more I think about this sort of response from a cheater, the more I am struck by its cruelty: The Cheater could care less about the cost of … Continue reading “Blind to the wreckage”
You are praying for her? Right?
“You’re praying for her, right?” asks Concerned Christian. “Actually, I decided to follow the Apostle Paul’s example regarding Alexander in 2 Timothy as that seems more applicable to my situation,” replies Faithful Spouse. ___ You need to know that Alexander,the jeweler, has done me great harm. May our Lord give him what he deserves for all … Continue reading “You are praying for her? Right?”
Pharisee or Enemy? Categories matter.
And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. -Matthew 5:41, NKJV In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. -Matthew 23:28, NIV When dealing with a “Christian” cheater, another level of complexity is placed on Christians … Continue reading “Pharisee or Enemy? Categories matter.”
Anger leftovers
“Anger has something to tell us; it’s sometimes the gift that alerts us of wrong in the world.” -Susannah Griffith in Forgiveness After Trauma: A Path to Find Healing and Empowerment, Brazos Press, Grand Rapids, MI, 2024 (pp 71). I am currently reading this book on the topic of forgiveness and trauma. Thus far, it is … Continue reading “Anger leftovers”
Letting go of trying to limit their destructive path
One of my most important and hardest lessons that I teach is… You only control you. I think it is a common impulse to seek to warn others about your ex. This is especially true–I think–if they are in the helping professions where people are vulnerable to them. The impulse to do this–at least for … Continue reading “Letting go of trying to limit their destructive path”
Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!
Why create an infidelity abuse survivor support group? When I went through my experience of divorce from my Cheater, nothing like this existed. The closest is a national Christian ministry for divorce situations in general. That syndicated ministry was helpful because of the excellent local leaders. Yet it was not exactly what I needed. Unique … Continue reading “Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!”