Holidays can be hard! I just want to acknowledge that. This time of year can be difficult for those of us who are experiencing the traumatic ending of a marriage. They are seasons that bring the loses in focus. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to NOT be okay. Your feelings are … Continue reading “Hard Holidays”
Category: Grief
Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!
No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. -Job 2:13b, NIV Forgiveness does NOT erase the effects of trauma! You can both forgive and still be revolted by your cheating spouse. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am annoyed with pastors and churches pushing traumatized faithful spouses … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!”
The unknowns suck
Not knowing when the cheating started happening, sucks!!! Maybe you know a general time frame? However, Cheaters are generally silent when it comes to giving you the details you so desire to regain a sense of clarity about what was happening over the months or years. It sucks. This is another loss among many when … Continue reading “The unknowns suck”
Grieving is complicated.
Grief hurts. It surprises even years after the loss. You might think you have “dealt with that” only to discover feelings ambush you at some surprise moment. Our culture does not do grief well. Churches can be especially bad on this number. This is particularly true as it comes to the grief associated with a … Continue reading “Grieving is complicated.”
Almost forgot anti-anniversary yesterday!
Yesterday was the anniversary to my divorce becoming final. I almost forgot. It was just another day. That said, I will never forget where I was the moment I received the official word that my first marriage was over. I was sitting in a van at work. Thankfully, I was not alone that day. The … Continue reading “Almost forgot anti-anniversary yesterday!”
Not “an easy way out”
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NKJV A faithful spouse choosing to divorce a cheater is not taking the “easy way out!” It is disgusting that a follower of Christ would ever suggest such a thing. They … Continue reading “Not “an easy way out””
Grateful for what I did not want
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. -Psalm 136:1, NIV Naively, I thought I’d be a “miracle story” until the end of my first marriage. That is probably why it hit so hard when the divorce was finalized. I never wanted the divorce. If left to my own devices, I probably … Continue reading “Grateful for what I did not want”
Another loss – say the thing!
Deep in my psyche must be a distaste for the consumer-driven app world of dating–that’s what my dream life brought up this past night. I am a happily married man who does not want all the drama of sorting through girlfriend drama. It might be my introvert nature. However, the thought of entering that world … Continue reading “Another loss – say the thing!”
Another Thanksgiving!
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. -I Thessalonians 5:18, KJV Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! I recognize that this can be a difficult time for many reasons. It can bring up feelings of loss or old difficult memories. One Thanksgiving Eve many years … Continue reading “Another Thanksgiving!”
Having regrets not the same…
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. -2 Corinthians 4:7, KJV Having regrets is not the same… …as deserving or causing the abuse of being cheated on! You do not have to be a perfect husband or perfect wife to … Continue reading “Having regrets not the same…”