“In the Bible, lament takes up more space than teaching on forgiveness…. Don’t talk to me about forgiveness unless you’ve made space for me to lament the full story–the messy parts, the painful parts, the parts I wish I could forget, even the parts I’m grateful for. Don’t talk to me ab out forgiveness until … Continue reading “Book Review: FORGIVENESS AFTER TRAUMA by Susannah Griffith”
Category: Grief
Probably less than half of it
“Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” -Matthew 7:23, NIV One of the hardest things about moving on is accepting that you will probably know less than half of what actually happened. This gap of information–whatever the percentage–can keep faithful spouses stuck. Please do not let it … Continue reading “Probably less than half of it”
Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff”
Tragedy and Gratitude
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT One of the biggest tragedies is the utter waste Cheaters create through their dastardly discard of us, faithful spouses. Just when we might be able to taste the fruit of sacrifice, Cheaters pull out the rug … Continue reading “Tragedy and Gratitude”
He is a Good Father!
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine… -Ephesians 3:20a, NIV God has solutions that we cannot imagine. They are good solutions as He is a good God. What happens might not be what we originally wanted, but God is good and will see you through. I … Continue reading “He is a Good Father!”
Not a tear wasted
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. -Psalm 56:8, NLT Not a tear wasted. God is tender towards those He loves. And He loves you, dear Faithful Spouse. Not only does He see each tear, He draws close … Continue reading “Not a tear wasted”
Temptation to write off all…
When the infidelity betrayal is fresh, a temptation exists to write off an entire gender. I think this is very common for faithful spouses. I think it is part of the grief process. We feel vulnerable and betrayed. The trauma of it all makes us want to avoid putting ourselves in a place where … Continue reading “Temptation to write off all…”
Anger leftovers
“Anger has something to tell us; it’s sometimes the gift that alerts us of wrong in the world.” -Susannah Griffith in Forgiveness After Trauma: A Path to Find Healing and Empowerment, Brazos Press, Grand Rapids, MI, 2024 (pp 71). I am currently reading this book on the topic of forgiveness and trauma. Thus far, it is … Continue reading “Anger leftovers”
It’s ok to miss them.
It’s okay to miss them. I think of all the losses that come with dealing with infidelity. You lose more relationships than just your relationship with the Cheater. The family and friends loss are big losses as well. Now, I understand that many of these people reveal themselves to not be true friends. Yet, many … Continue reading “It’s ok to miss them.”
Grief and 9-11
My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? -Psalm 42:3, KJV Today is September 11th. I will never forget what happened twenty-three years ago on this day while I was a freshman in college. The world changed that day. Two towers were taken down. … Continue reading “Grief and 9-11”