My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? -Psalm 42:3, KJV Today is September 11th. I will never forget what happened twenty-three years ago on this day while I was a freshman in college. The world changed that day. Two towers were taken down. … Continue reading “Grief and 9-11”
Category: Grief
Disturbing Dream
This morning I awoke from an unusual dream for me. In my dream, I saw my ex and her family. This triggered panic in my heart–i.e. my fight or flight response. Now, I haven’t seen these people for over a decade. Yet the mere invoking of their image in a dream STILL has the power … Continue reading “Disturbing Dream”
Stop reading the tea leaves!
Stop reading the tea leaves! I was guilty of this. Every small signal of kindness or basic civility I took to mean that my marriage might survive. It was a lie, though. I was deceiving myself. This is where having good friends is key. These friends can speak the hard but necessary truth about your … Continue reading “Stop reading the tea leaves!”
Give up trying to control
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:23-24, KJV A natural temptation is to focus on controlling or directing the cheater’s behavior. Please do your best to resist this temptation! … Continue reading “Give up trying to control”
What does it profit…
36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? 37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? -Mark 8:36-37, KJV But they are so successful and behave as if nothing happened! They’re off living this luxurious life while I am struggling to … Continue reading “What does it profit…”
Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!
Why create an infidelity abuse survivor support group? When I went through my experience of divorce from my Cheater, nothing like this existed. The closest is a national Christian ministry for divorce situations in general. That syndicated ministry was helpful because of the excellent local leaders. Yet it was not exactly what I needed. Unique … Continue reading “Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!”
Like Another Life
Today, I saw a short video highlighting tourist traps across the United States with old European themes. One of the locations was where I honeymooned with my ex-wife. It was a strange experience. I recognized the pictures and memories came back from that time. However, it was like I was observing another person. The grief … Continue reading “Like Another Life”
Would’ve been 18 years today…
It would’ve been our eighteenth anniversary today. However, Cheaters do cheater things, and so, it isn’t. Another day… …that is what this day has mostly turned into at this point. I am such a different person than who married that person eighteen years ago. Thankfully, we can grow and learn. I was SO naive back … Continue reading “Would’ve been 18 years today…”
PSA: They did not “have to” cheat!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): They did NOT have to cheat on you! No matter what. They chose sin over godliness, and that is on them. Personally, I think this is the most tragic thing about marital infidelity. It is also one of the oldest of lies–i.e. that they “had to” cheat. The cheater did … Continue reading “PSA: They did not “have to” cheat!”
The accusations are just “interesting” today.
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I was helping Mrs. DM clean up our basement yesterday evening. While sorting through folders with old papers, I came across some of my notes from the time of my first marriage’s implosion. These notes outlined … Continue reading “The accusations are just “interesting” today.”