The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I was helping Mrs. DM clean up our basement yesterday evening. While sorting through folders with old papers, I came across some of my notes from the time of my first marriage’s implosion. These notes outlined … Continue reading “The accusations are just “interesting” today.”
Category: Grief
Such a surreal feeling!
Years ago, I was driving down I-35. And I was struck by just how otherworldly the feeling was. Divorce was something that happened to other people. Yet it was happening to me. So surreal! I was clearly still in a state of shock. Thankfully, it was only a stage. I got through it, and I … Continue reading “Such a surreal feeling!”
Contentment Secret
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. -Philippians 4:12b, NIV When I am tempted to spiral into resentment (or start going there), I am reminded of an important spiritual secret: Gratitude is a great antidote to resentment. … Continue reading “Contentment Secret”
Grief is weird.
Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” -Psalm 42:3, NLT Grief is weird. This struck home for me yesterday. It was about a loss unrelated to my divorce. I was thinking about my grandmother. She died twenty years ago to … Continue reading “Grief is weird.”
Okay to admit being “not okay”
Walking in reality is good for our souls. Sometimes, that means admitting that we are “not okay.” But we can still hold hope that eventually we will be well. As we walk with Jesus, we know this is true. AND God can handle us being upset and “not okay” in the present. I love this … Continue reading “Okay to admit being “not okay””
To my faithful spouse dads, Happy Father’s Day!!!
Happy Father’s Day!!! Years ago, I felt this day acutely. My divorce had gone through, and I felt the death of dreams. We had no children. Then that changed when I met Mrs. DM and Munchkin. I became a husband and father all at once. It remains one of the best decisions of my life. … Continue reading “To my faithful spouse dads, Happy Father’s Day!!!”
Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy!
Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy! When we forgive, we do not forget. The experiences we have had stay with us–especially the hard ones. Few things are harder than discovering your spouse cheated on you! I am sure I will carry the technicolor memory of my ex-wife quasi-confessing her cheating on Thanksgiving Eve 2012 for the … Continue reading “Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy!”
“Bitter” used to discredit and dismiss
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. See that no one is sexually immoral…. -Hebrews 12:15-16a, NIV I am troubled. What bothers me is how the word “bitter” is used to discredit and silence victims of adultery. … Continue reading ““Bitter” used to discredit and dismiss”
Divorce discard pain
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.- -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some cheaters cling to their marriage, and other cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “Divorce discard pain”
Accepting Reality & Disagreement
Your Cheater may never acknowledge what they did to you was wrong. They may contest the divorce story to the end of their lives. Part of healing is accepting this as a loss and moving forward in the truth. Yes, it is an injustice. Still, to heal, we sometimes have to name it as such … Continue reading “Accepting Reality & Disagreement”