“In the Bible, lament takes up more space than teaching on forgiveness…. Don’t talk to me about forgiveness unless you’ve made space for me to lament the full story–the messy parts, the painful parts, the parts I wish I could forget, even the parts I’m grateful for. Don’t talk to me ab out forgiveness until … Continue reading “Book Review: FORGIVENESS AFTER TRAUMA by Susannah Griffith”
Category: Reconciliation
Affair Partner not a marriage problem?!
“He has nothing to do with our marriage problems. You know that!” -Caught Cheater If your cheater is responding with some version of this, your marriage is over. The cheater is refusing to face the fact that adultery is truly a MAJOR marriage problem. You have nothing to work with here. The cheater is firmly … Continue reading “Affair Partner not a marriage problem?!”
Blind to the wreckage
“I would forgive anything. I want us to stay married,” says desperate faithful spouse. “But you would always hold it over my head,” responds heartless Cheater. The more I think about this sort of response from a cheater, the more I am struck by its cruelty: The Cheater could care less about the cost of … Continue reading “Blind to the wreckage”
Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff”
Loving darkness
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Loving darkness”
Good intentions not enough
“The road to Hell is paved… …with good intentions.” -A proverb This saying is a wise one to remember when dealing with the aftermath that comes following infidelity discovery. It applies both to the actual cheater and to those who profess they are only giving “care.” “I never intended to hurt you.” – Cheater … Continue reading “Good intentions not enough”
Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!
Why create an infidelity abuse survivor support group? When I went through my experience of divorce from my Cheater, nothing like this existed. The closest is a national Christian ministry for divorce situations in general. That syndicated ministry was helpful because of the excellent local leaders. Yet it was not exactly what I needed. Unique … Continue reading “Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!”
Family Rule: Keeping up appearances
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NIV Family Rule: Keep up appearances! I wonder how many of us, faithful spouses, married into families where appearances were of the utmost importance. Our Cheaters were conditioned from the earliest … Continue reading “Family Rule: Keeping up appearances”
Resource on healing — “Rightly Assigning Blame”
“The crux of the teaching is that the foundation of all abuse is the misassignment of responsibility. So the abuse victim accepts that assignment of responsibility as being theirs.” -Bob Hamp in Episode 277: What the Healing Journey Looks Like, Flying Free Podcast, page 6 (transcript). Last week, I taught a group on the subject … Continue reading “Resource on healing — “Rightly Assigning Blame””
“For the kids” Really?!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading ““For the kids” Really?!”