My ex-wife cheated on me and chose divorce over repenting from her sins. That is how my first marriage ended. I was looking at some old papers recently that chronicled my ecclesiastical trial and aftermath. One thing that stuck out to me was this assumption that “no one is completely innocent” in a divorce. Such … Continue reading “At peace finally saying, “I did not cause my divorce.””
Category: Reconciliation
Made a humiliating list
When I was separated from my cheater, I made a list. It is humiliating looking back on it. I wrote up a list of reasons for why I wanted to stay married to her (even though, I knew she was a cheater). As you might have guessed, she responded to it with contempt. In part, … Continue reading “Made a humiliating list”
Preach naked and only then will I consider following Hosea’s example!
…the Lord told Isaiah son of Amoz, “Take off the burlap you have been wearing, and remove your sandals.” Isaiah did as he was told and walked around naked and barefoot. Then the Lord said, “My servant Isaiah has been walking around naked and barefoot for the last three years.” -Isaiah 20:2-3a, NLT To the pastor insisting … Continue reading “Preach naked and only then will I consider following Hosea’s example!”
Clarity Among Confusion
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV Dealing with infidelity is incredibly confusing. The one who vowed to remain faithful to you until death do you part is behaving in very odd ways. They are supposed to … Continue reading “Clarity Among Confusion”
Opposes the proud
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT Did you catch that? “God opposes the proud.” This is at the core of the cheater problem–i.e. pride. They believe they are more important than their spouse, and they are believe that they are entitled to their sinful … Continue reading “Opposes the proud”
Possible to repent? Sure. Likely? No.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible to repent? Sure. Likely? No.”
Will not rebuild
“Even if she cheated on me, I would still stay with her and try to make the marriage work,” says faithful spouse. “You’d just hold that over her head forever,” replies cheater apologist. When this is the mentality or response from the cheater side, you know the marriage is done. This sort of response exposes … Continue reading “Will not rebuild”
Reconciliation, NOT Restoration
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation, NOT Restoration”
Stay strong and do not repeat my mistake!
The Other Man was discovered. I wrote a letter to my (then) wife letting her know I would not tolerate her cheating anymore. She could either choose to work to prove to me that her cheating days were over, or she could expect me to terminate my relationship–friendship included–with her permanently. Obviously, she chose the … Continue reading “Stay strong and do not repeat my mistake!”
Beware of false hope
When I was going through the darkest part of my marriage dying, I really did not want the divorce. (As a side note, I am so grateful today that I was freed by that divorce. God has used Mrs. DM and Munchkin to restore the laughter in the halls of my heart.) A temptation I … Continue reading “Beware of false hope”