21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.
-Mark 7:21-23, NLT
Cheaters usually will try to point the finger at anyone other than themselves.
The challenge for faithful spouses is not to take the bait. To heal, we have to know the truth in our deepest parts that this NOT a problem we can fix.
The problem resides in the adulterous sinner. It is a heart issue. Only the Cheater with God’s help can address it, ultimately.
“I wouldn’t have cheated if you had only been more sexually available,” says an unrepentant Cheater.
“No, I will not accept blame for your choices to sin against me,” replies faithful spouse.
Another example is the blame-shift after a declared emotional affair:
“It was just a cry for help!” says unrepentant Cheater. “I never would have cheated on you if you had met my emotional needs better.”
“No, what you did was sin,” says faithful spouse, “and I will not accept blame for your sinful choices.”
No healing for anyone can take place as long as lies reign supreme. The worst of these lies is blaming victims for the sins of the offenders.
These were choices, sinful choices to cheat and deceive. The ability to repentant is not realized until that is seen and accepted. Cheaters have the ability to choose otherwise. They chose to cheat as sin is enticing for a season.
The overflow of the Cheater’s heart was adulterous sin. They need to deal with a fouled source if the problem is ever to be truly addressed.
