“Yes, I had a sexual relationship with him. But I am not divorcing you for that.”
-Cheater
A cheater from a religious background might say some drivel like this in a last ditch attempt to rescue her reputation.
They know people–especially if their religion condemns it–generally frown upon adultery. So, they are trying to distract others from the seriousness of their sin.
It is like saying,
Don’t look at the adultery. You have to look at how “bad” my spouse was!
This is akin to a murderer telling the police that he ought to be let off since he only killed cancer patients. Whether or not his victim had cancer does not change the fact that his actions killed the victim, not the cancer!
The same thing applies to adultery and divorce:
However diseased the marriage relationship might have been, committing adultery is like putting a bullet in it. The cheater did not give the marriage a chance to heal or recover by choosing to cheat.
I heard this one almost word for word.
Some of my family believed her.
I almost did too, until a pastor who had been through divorce set me straight. Told me “She decided it was OK to shoot the wounded instead of caring for them.”
That was a good visualization for me.
Wise pastor. I remember my ex said something like this right after coming clean after lying for months about her adultery.