Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.”

“We don’t have any money,” says Cheater.

Then she spends on expensive dining out and travel with her paramour.

It was never about the lack of money.

The point about saying that you are without money is that they are uninterested in spending money on you and your needs. Their desires and wishes are worth spending on but NOT yours. For some, this includes the needs of the kids as well.

Cheaters are extremely selfish.

I wonder how many of us, faithful spouses, got some sort of talk about being frugal only to learn our Cheater was blowing the family money on illicit activities.

Of course, they never saw it that way.  It was “their money.”

That is another thing about marriage vows that is lost on many Cheaters. They fail to grasp that marrying makes the money shared assets. That is part of what joining together as one means. It is part of the traditional vows to acknowledge this.

But are we really surprised?

Cheaters do selfish things. They are poor at living up to the demanding parts of the marriage vows. Why wouldn’t we think this deficit of character extends to the finances as well?!

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.””

  1. It’s intriguing to see the above here. Recently, I found this on another site with a screen shot of a situation involving [two individuals] work colleagues, whom had an affair. The dynamics are complicated, with one admitting to the affair to all and the other denying it with claims of rejection and fake photos (which all know isn’t true) Regardless they were both caught twice by the husband, how does someone move forward with their spouse after knowing that they have been cheating on them with the same person over such a time period and catching them twice? I understand to move forward acknowledging the truth is crucial, as unresolved issues can strain relationships, but the impact is not just the on the couple but also future family dynamics, especially with children involved. In most if not all cases isn’t choosing honesty over denial essential for everyone’s well-being? the focus should be on moving forward and not dwelling on the past finding happiness, and embracing joy in life. but how does one move forward knowing that their spouse has been emotionally and physically involved with another for a prolonged period of time? What is the best course of action to be taken in cases like these? How does one move forward for a better life after this?

  2. “I wonder how many of us, faithful spouses, got some sort of talk about being frugal only to learn our Cheater was blowing the family money on illicit activities.”

    Yes, I didn’t know of course until the year of discard and after I ran the credit card history. He was always frugal, and I scrimped and saved so he could have his toys, especially a boat. He rarely gave me gifts, never remembered my birthday, things like that. I excused it and told myself; but we spend all this time together etc.

    Then when I did the financials I found all sorts of money he spent on women and likely some of it was on gambling. Gambling was what finally brought him down to bankruptcy. Luckily we were D’d by then and it wasn’t my issue, but dang I still wonder how I could have been so stupid.

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