Divorce impacts a community.
Like the sin of adultery, it is not a private affair (see Deut. 22:22). The divorce hits the whole network of relationships. It is painful to face the reality that a couple is no longer a couple. This is doubly so when you like and connected with both spouses. This way of relating to a couple is no longer available. They are divorced. The friend must now decide what to do with that grief.Some choose poorly.
They try to deny reality and pretend nothing happened. Denying reality usually ends poorly. Some just have no idea why this divorce happened. That is part of the reason for people seeking answers about a divorce. It is an honest searching to answers to help them with their grief over the lost relationships.Not everyone needs to know. However, telling those friends close to you as a couple gives them an opportunity to both support you and deal with their own grief. As I mentioned before, some won’t (but some WILL) respond well. Even with the important information divulged, some will choose to continue to play friends with you while not altering their relationship with the person who raped your soul. American society does a poor job with grief. We compound this issue by lying to ourselves that the marriages of others even as they impact us is “their own business.”Letting those friends know that the marriage is over because of your (ex) spouse’s infidelity is a gift for them. It helps them make sense of the loss.
When a divorce occurs, it affects the whole community. They are grieving, too. Don’t forget that.
_________________________ *A version of this post ran previously.Appreciate the thoughts shared here on the blog? Consider purchasing my book:
