The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.
-Job 42:12, NIV
Divorce is scary.
It is made unnecessarily so–in part–by a Christian culture bent on blaming faithful spouses. Singleness is hardly an ideal state in the Christian community, and divorced singles have the added burden of dealing with the unbiblical prejudices of fellow Christians who are unwilling to accept adultery as a good enough justification in itself for a marriage to end.
I know I was scared when divorce looked like a forgone conclusion for my first marriage. It was terrifying as a pastor who knew just the fact of my divorce could destroy my career potentially. Plus, I could imagine life without my (now) ex-wife. The thought of going on without her–especially in the Christian world–was unthinkable.
So, I can relate to the fears regarding divorce even when you have all the biblical warrant to obtain one.
That said, I want to encourage you if you find yourself in the place where I was just a few years ago. It is the place of really, really not wanting a divorce, yet you may not have a say in the matter–i.e. she/he filed for a divorce that will happen regardless of your protests–or you would have to tolerate infidelity and ongoing lies to stay “married.”
Just as Job had a more blessed life after catastrophic losses including the death of all his children, I am here to tell you that insisting on righteousness is a path God can bless. Divorce is NOT your end. It is the end of your marriage, but it may be simply a necessary chapter closing for the new adventure God has for you.
This certainly was the case for myself. The end of my marriage did not end me–though, it felt like it would at times. It actually launched me into the life I have today, which is richer and fuller both both professionally and personally than it ever was in my first marriage.
Do not confuse the closing of a chapter for the ending of the book!
God excels at transforming the wicked endings into glorious triumphs. Just consider the Cross if you do not believe me. Divorce is just the closing of chapter, but it is far from God saying He is done with you, faithful spouse.
So timely! I am looking forward to the next and better chapters, after all this growth.
Thanks DM. Your writings are such a blessing. My divorce happened last Tuesday and even though we have been separated for nearly 3 years there is still some grief there. My life is better without the abuse and lies and betrayal, but it can still be difficult. Looking forward to a new start.
The grief hitting when it is finally official is common. It happened for me as well even though I had not even seen my (ex) wife for months leading up to its final decree.
My privilege. Truly.