“…in sickness and in health….” -Traditional Marriage Vows
“If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.”
-Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT
****DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a mental health provider. This post is NOT medical advice or diagnosis.***
What to do if you think your cheater is mentally ill?
Does that mean you must “reconcile” and never divorce him/her?
Short answer:
NO!
The Bible does not teach us that someone gets a pass to commit adultery because they have mental illness. They still committed spiritually and emotionally destructive acts by committing adultery.
It is still sexual immorality whether or not committed by a mentally ill person. That is all it takes to have permission to divorce per Jesus (see Matthew 19:9).
What about “…in sickness and in health…?”
This is not simply a sickness–even if it confirmed mental illness by a professional. The situation involves abuse of the faithful spouse as anyone who commits adultery is abusing their partner.
Spiritually and emotionally speaking, the cheater is involved in the rape of the faithful spouse’s soul!
While as a society we may make mental illness allowances in court cases, we still do not allow a dangerous person loose in the population when identified as such by their destructive behavior.
In other words, there are still consequences for mentally ill individuals behaving destructively in society.
Not only is divorce from a mentally ill cheater allowed per Scripture, I think it is a wise course of action to remove oneself from an abuser. Divorce is a step to do just that.
A cheater is not just mentally ill. Their mental illness manifests as an attack upon the faithful spouse–i.e. soul rape. Healthy and wise people do not accept such treatment.
Plus, the cheating behavior still qualifies as sexual immorality for which Scripture teaches divorce is an option for the faithful spouse, period (see Matthew 1:19, 5:32, and 19:9).
Divorce a “mentally ill” cheater? Yes. That is a godly option for a wise faithful spouse to take.
Just found this post. Appreciate your wisdom and insight and I wholeheartedly agree…now. I accepted her adulteress behavior too long and put up with behavior no healthy person would put up with. Now that I have divorced her, God has revealed that I am to protect myself from her, not put up with and enable her. Her mental illness started long before I met her and will continue long after I am gone.
Glad you found the post helpful! Good to hear that you are taking steps to stay safe.