M wrote: I came here looking for answers to an issue I have had with a cheating ex and why God continues to bless him with the girl he cheated on me with, as well as he has cheated on her, too and she knows nothing about any of it. I came here for advice … Continue reading “Mailbag: Can Christians Still Go To Hell If They Sin After Asking For Forgiveness?”
Author: Divorce Minister
The Spirit Of Stupid
Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down … Continue reading “The Spirit Of Stupid”
Primary Issue Is The Adulterous Spouse
The mouth of an adulterous woman is a deep pit; a man who is under the Lord’s wrath falls into it. -Proverbs 22:14, NIV While the Other Man (OM) does not escape censure in this verse, I find it fascinating to see the ancient wisdom of the Bible pointing to the adulterous woman as the … Continue reading “Primary Issue Is The Adulterous Spouse”
God’s Forgiveness Is Great But What About Adultery Victim Care?
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. -Isaiah 1:17, NLT An observation I’ve noticed is how evangelicals are quick to point to God’s forgiveness for adulterers and adulteresses while totally ignoring their victims. It as as if faithful spouses do not exist … Continue reading “God’s Forgiveness Is Great But What About Adultery Victim Care?”
The Oblivious Ones
So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. – Luke 17:3, NIV If you have survived discovering infidelity and/or gone through divorce, you will inevitably encounter “well-meaning” but oblivious Christians. They may even be related to you by blood. These are the sort of … Continue reading “The Oblivious Ones”
“Monogamy is unnatural.”
A reader of Divorce Minister wrote in asking for me to tackle the old saw that “monogamy is unnatural.” It did not take me long to think of an old Steven Curtis Chapman song addressing such a fatalistic, naturalistic stance: You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though … Continue reading ““Monogamy is unnatural.””
Cheaters Underestimate Faithful Spouses’ Worth
Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! – Luke 12:24, NLT Words are weighted. It is harder to dismiss hurtful words from someone who is close to us than from some stranger. … Continue reading “Cheaters Underestimate Faithful Spouses’ Worth”
My Ambivalence Towards “Men’s Ministries”
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17, NIV Maybe it is just my own story and bad experiences, but these days I am highly skeptical of “Men’s Ministries” (or “Women’s Ministries”). They are often sold as places for men and women to deal with deep issues with their own gender. … Continue reading “My Ambivalence Towards “Men’s Ministries””
Pain Comes From The Good Memories
And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. -2 Corinthians 11:14, KJV While discovering adultery is awful, I think some of the more lasting pain comes from the positive experiences one had while married to a cheater. These memories–whether built on a lie or not–suggest things could have been otherwise. … Continue reading “Pain Comes From The Good Memories”
Was Jesus “Damaged Goods”?
Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. -Isaiah 53:4-5, KJV Satan is not … Continue reading “Was Jesus “Damaged Goods”?”