“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light. It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Denial is not the same thing as forgiveness.”
Author: Divorce Minister
Truly Repentant Cheaters Stop Managing Their Image
Surrendering Their Image Control A key piece in the testimony given by W. Paul Young, the author of The Shack, was how he did not make an excuse or try to hide the fact of his infidelity. He stopped trying to pretend or control how people perceived him. And, certainly, he did not put a muzzle on … Continue reading “Truly Repentant Cheaters Stop Managing Their Image”
“Date Your Spouse” Advice
“Date your wife. Take her out. Get her flowers. Maybe it will reignite something?” – Christian leader to faithful husband I find this advice obnoxious. Sadly, it seems ubiquitous in evangelical-land as a way to “affair proof” a marriage. Such is dangerous and delusional thinking. The state of the marriage relationship is not what causes adultery. … Continue reading ““Date Your Spouse” Advice”
DM’s Three Main Messages
The time following infidelity is often very confusing to the sucker-punched faithful spouse. This website was launched as a resource and support for Christian faithful spouses trying to navigate such treacherous waters. It was also started to help pastors and Christian leaders who truly care about faithful spouses during such traumatic times. What I have … Continue reading “DM’s Three Main Messages”
When will you believe it?
So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” – John 20:25, NIV It was August 2012. And the evidence … Continue reading “When will you believe it?”
Pastors: “Please Insist On Faithful Spouses Being Told!”
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” – Matthew 5:23-24, NIV A danger with a strong evangelical, Protestant … Continue reading “Pastors: “Please Insist On Faithful Spouses Being Told!””
Unhelpful Observation: “God permits divorce, BUT He never commands it.”
“God permits faithful spouses to divorce adulterous spouses. BUT He never commands it.” -Unhelpful Pastoral Advice This is technically true. God does not directly command anyone to divorce.* But before getting smug over one’s rightness on this matter consider what God does say regarding adulterous spouses: God commands His people to kill adulterous spouses! –see Deut. 22:22 … Continue reading “Unhelpful Observation: “God permits divorce, BUT He never commands it.””
Get A Lawyer
When one of you has a dispute with another believer, how dare you file a lawsuit and ask a secular court to decide the matter instead of taking it to other believers! – I Corinthians 6:1, NLT “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, … Continue reading “Get A Lawyer”
Invoking God’s Name
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth … Continue reading “Invoking God’s Name”
Puzzling Cheater Thinking
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV This morning I was driving to the office and listening to the radio. A local station had a session where people could call in to the station and share regrets about their weekend activities. “Andrea” called into the station. She shared the story about going to a … Continue reading “Puzzling Cheater Thinking”