Yesterday, I had an interesting exchange with another pastor who raised a concern. He was wondering if my blogging is shaming for faithful spouses who choose to stay and restore their marriage with a cheater. I am writing today to address that concern. To be crystal clear: My goal is NOT to shame faithful spouses who … Continue reading “Clarification: My Goal Is NOT To Shame Faithful Spouses Who Stay”
Author: Divorce Minister
Divorce Was Not Part of God’s Original Plan–So What?!
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a … Continue reading “Divorce Was Not Part of God’s Original Plan–So What?!”
Fighting Divorce Shame
And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord. – Psalm 27:6, KJV Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is … Continue reading “Fighting Divorce Shame”
Learning From Commanded and Godly Divorce
“Let us now make a covenant with our God to divorce our pagan wives and to send them away with their children….” Then Ezra the priest stood and said to them: “You have committed a terrible sin. By marrying pagan women, you have increased Israel’s guilt. So now confess your sin to the Lord, the … Continue reading “Learning From Commanded and Godly Divorce”
Cheater-Speak: Cannot forgive oneself but cannot stop cheating either
Michael wrote, Hi Rev David. My ex-wife said she didn’t know how to forgive herself but at the same time would not stop her adultery. What is your take on this? Dear Michael, Two possible options come to mind as to what is happening here with your ex-wife: 1) She is lying for image or … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Cannot forgive oneself but cannot stop cheating either”
Give Up Trying To Get Agreement
A sage trying to work things out with a fool gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble. Proverbs 29:9, The Message When I was processing the end of my marriage and even while I was still fighting for it not to end in divorce, I wasted a lot of energy contending over the marriage narrative … Continue reading “Give Up Trying To Get Agreement”
Problem With “I Never Recommend Divorce” Stance
“I never recommend divorce, but I will say, I’ll go as far as separation.” – Dr. David Clarke in 7/22/15 interview on Focus on the Family® While I generally agree with Dr. Clarke’s approach to dealing with infidelity, I strongly disagree with him on this point.* Sometimes I will recommend divorce if it means protecting a spouse … Continue reading “Problem With “I Never Recommend Divorce” Stance”
Omar Minwalla, Psy.D, A Secular Psychologist Who Gets “It”
A few days ago, a vigilant reader of the blog sent me the name of a psychologist, Omar Minwalla, Psy.D., who takes adultery seriously. It was refreshing to read his work (see link here) and hear him speak (see link here) on the subject of caring for faithful spouses. While I have no idea of … Continue reading “Omar Minwalla, Psy.D, A Secular Psychologist Who Gets “It””
Married Is Not Dating
She was the brash, rebellious type, never content to stay at home. She is often in the streets and markets, soliciting at every corner. She threw her arms around him and kissed him, and with a brazen look she said … “Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s … Continue reading “Married Is Not Dating”
“I’m not defined by my past.”
Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit … Continue reading ““I’m not defined by my past.””