“The crux of the teaching is that the foundation of all abuse is the misassignment of responsibility. So the abuse victim accepts that assignment of responsibility as being theirs.” -Bob Hamp in Episode 277: What the Healing Journey Looks Like, Flying Free Podcast, page 6 (transcript). Last week, I taught a group on the subject … Continue reading “Resource on healing — “Rightly Assigning Blame””
Meditating on Psalm 89:14
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you. -Psalm 89:14, NIV I believe adultery is affront to the very throne or authority of God. As the Psalmist states here, we see love and faithfulness as linked to the symbol of God’s authority–i.e. His throne. Adultery is the opposite … Continue reading “Meditating on Psalm 89:14”
Lacking Self-Esteem? Really?!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV While a cheater might blame their cheating on a lack of self-esteem, I find this excuse rather lame. They “esteemed” themselves so much that they took or gave what did not belong … Continue reading “Lacking Self-Esteem? Really?!”
Divorce discard pain
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.- -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some cheaters cling to their marriage, and other cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “Divorce discard pain”
Cheaters manipulate others
Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own. -Proverbs 26:17, NIV Cheaters manipulate others to do their bidding. They can use the genuine, good desire of others to “help” against them and against the faithful spouse. Cheaters feed these “helpers” only certain information … Continue reading “Cheaters manipulate others”
Cannot Repent
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV You cannot repent of sin that is not yours! We are responsible for our own sin, not another’s. … Continue reading “Cannot Repent”
Whatever they stored up….
45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. -Luke 6:45, NIV Cheating is the manifestation of what the Cheater stored up in … Continue reading “Whatever they stored up….”
Accepting Reality & Disagreement
Your Cheater may never acknowledge what they did to you was wrong. They may contest the divorce story to the end of their lives. Part of healing is accepting this as a loss and moving forward in the truth. Yes, it is an injustice. Still, to heal, we sometimes have to name it as such … Continue reading “Accepting Reality & Disagreement”
Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for “help.”
Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for “help.””
No blaming of faithful spouse
10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” -John 8:10-11, NIV Lessons from the Woman Caught In Adultery Story What strikes me–among many things–in this story is how … Continue reading “No blaming of faithful spouse”