“I just want open and honest communication,” says Cheater. Do Cheaters really want honesty and openness? No way! Cheating is no fun when you are faced with consequences that come with open honesty with your victim–i.e. the faithful spouse. Two-sided openness is such a drag for those committed to a lifestyle of deception. When Cheaters say that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.””
Playing Catch Up
I do not know anyone through this ministry or otherwise who was once married to a Cheater where the infidelity deception did not entail significant time–i.e. months or years. All those lies do significant damage. We, faithful spouses, are playing catch up trying to piece together what was and wasn’t true over the years. This … Continue reading “Playing Catch Up”
Family Rule: Keeping up appearances
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NIV Family Rule: Keep up appearances! I wonder how many of us, faithful spouses, married into families where appearances were of the utmost importance. Our Cheaters were conditioned from the earliest … Continue reading “Family Rule: Keeping up appearances”
A time for everything… including hate!
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: … a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8, NIV Did you know the Bible tells us a time exists to hate? So, this means hate is not … Continue reading “A time for everything… including hate!”
Happy July 4th Holiday!
Happy Independence Day! As faithful spouses, we can take inspiration from this day that as US citizens we recognize every year. It is a holiday that celebrates the birth of our nation. Facing a very difficult and costly decision, our Founding Fathers set pen to a document that would forever sever them from the home … Continue reading “Happy July 4th Holiday!”
“Sounds like you believe that.”
“I’m being faithful to God,” says Cheater. “Sounds like you believe that,” replies faithful spouse knowing otherwise. I don’t miss arguing over reality with my Cheater. Those were crazy-making experiences. She would attempt to force her will on me to agree to a certain narrative. It was a power struggle. I am glad those days … Continue reading ““Sounds like you believe that.””
Validation. What a gift!
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation. What a gift!”
Sin is to be silent.
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. If we do not obey a command, we are sinning. It is a sin … Continue reading “Sin is to be silent.”
CHOOSE your VICTORY narrative!
Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “CHOOSE your VICTORY narrative!”
Love this new country song
I love a new song on the country stations is about someone who is no longer consumed by thinking about a paramour. This song is a statement about someone who is no longer entrapped by a feelings and thoughts about a Cheater–e.g. wondering where he is at night. It is a song expressing what it … Continue reading “Love this new country song”