Dear DM, It was a Godsend to come across your blog after as the evangelical Christian community’s biased view of divorce versus adultery is so prevalent, harsh, and unBiblical. Anyway, my current personal situation with marital infidelity is primarily related to decades of unrepentant porn use by my husband that has escalated over the years … Continue reading “Dear DM, What about porn use?”
Laugh with those who laugh
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV Laugh with those who laugh! I am grateful for the pets in my life. We have a full house of birds and lizards at the present. They bring such joy and laughter to our hearts! Years ago while I was … Continue reading “Laugh with those who laugh”
not willing
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing!” -Luke 13:34, NKJV Faithful spouses are often reminded of Jesus’ relationship with the Church. This relationship was predated … Continue reading “not willing”
Time for “new thing”
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes the marriage is not fixable, and it comes time to focus on a new thing. A cheater who refuses to repent makes a marriage not fixable. It would be unwise to reinvest in a … Continue reading “Time for “new thing””
Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.”
“We don’t have any money,” says Cheater. Then she spends on expensive dining out and travel with her paramour. It was never about the lack of money. The point about saying that you are without money is that they are uninterested in spending money on you and your needs. Their desires and wishes are worth … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.””
Abandoning husbands over money
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” -Matthew 6:24, NIV 10 Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not … Continue reading “Abandoning husbands over money”
Not the role of a spouse
Free Marriage Advice: If you are looking to your spouse to prove that you are lovable, you are looking to the wrong person. When we look to humans to fill a God-shaped hole, we will always be disappointed. Humans were never intended to “fix” us. Only God can satisfy the deepest longings in our souls. … Continue reading “Not the role of a spouse”
Do not settle for being part of their “harem”
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Some Cheaters would love to stay on “friendly” terms even after divorce. Of course, this “friendly” terms offer does not include them owning their behavior or apologizing … Continue reading “Do not settle for being part of their “harem””
Dear DM, Is her abandonment unfaithfulness?
Dear DM, Thank you for your ministry to survivors of infidelity abuse. My former wife of 25 years abandoned me and our minor son back in 2019. Although she denied having an extra-marital affair, I cannot seriously believe she would have left her son unless she had crossed a line of no return. That line … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is her abandonment unfaithfulness?”
I believe God can raise the dead, but…
I believe God can and does raise the dead, but… …I still do funerals. This is my stance on marriages ravaged by infidelity. I believe some can be resurrected; however, that is a miracle. It is about as common as a funeral ending in a resurrection today. That is to say, not common. The natural … Continue reading “I believe God can raise the dead, but…”