While I am thankful for the help of some Christian resources in my dark season, I discovered most had an agenda apart from freely presenting the options. Most Christian resources–in my experience–are focused upon “saving the marriage.” This goal is pursued at the unacknowledged cost of the faithful spouse’s well-being. For these authors and pastors, … Continue reading “Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources”
Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors” This is the phrase I find myself using to describe my ministry here and in person to others in the Church. I might … Continue reading “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors”
Sheep and Wolves
15 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. 16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act.” -Matthew 7:15-16a, NLT A common pastoral care error committed by even well-meaning leaders is to fail to recognize an important distinction: Perpetrators and Victims–a.k.a. Wolves and Sheep. … Continue reading “Sheep and Wolves”
Opposes the Haughty
And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -I Peter 5:5b , NLT God is not neutral to the proud, haughty. Honestly, the issue of pride is the main barrier to healing and resurrection of marriages. Cheaters lack … Continue reading “Opposes the Haughty”
Eric Volz messed up view on Clergy Sexual Abuse in interview re: IHOPKC
“… and I think there is a certain number of practitioners [trauma informed investigators] that The Advocate Group would only accept because it would increase the likelihood that there would be abuse found in their investigation. So, for example, there are people that would say anytime someone in ministry has any form of sexual contact … Continue reading “Eric Volz messed up view on Clergy Sexual Abuse in interview re: IHOPKC”
No, God does not expect us to be “friends.”
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. -Proverbs 12:26, NIV The beauty of friendship is that we get to CHOOSE who we have as friends! I encourage you to choose friends who behave like friends. And I encourage you to jettison those who refuse to choose between … Continue reading “No, God does not expect us to be “friends.””
Smokescreen: Emotional Affair As “Symptom” Blameshift.
14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. -James 1:14-15, NLT Emotional Affairs (EA) are wrong. They are sin as they are the breach of marriage vows to “forsake all others.” The … Continue reading “Smokescreen: Emotional Affair As “Symptom” Blameshift.”
Encouragement from Psalm 147
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. The Lord supports the humble, but he brings the wicked down into the dust. -Psalm 147:3,6, NLT I love how the Psalmist characterizes God. God is both tender to the hurting and strong towards the proud. He is the type who is perfect for a faithful spouse to trust. … Continue reading “Encouragement from Psalm 147”
God cares. Maybe let Him do the worrying?
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care….. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. -Matthew 10:29,31, NIV This morning I awoke from an interesting dream. In this dream, I was with family in a large, informal gathering … Continue reading “God cares. Maybe let Him do the worrying?”
Be at peace with your decision.
What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. -I Corinthians 2:12, NIV While I view divorce as a mercy for faithful spouses, I do not insist on it. I am aware that God calls us to … Continue reading “Be at peace with your decision.”