“I was afraid you would get angry. That is why I did not tell you [I was cheating on you].” -Cheater Isn’t it amazing how a Cheater can make their lying your fault? Now, we know their lies are their lies. However, Cheaters are adept at shifting blame. In this mind trick: The speaker is blaming their … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid you would get angry…””
My ministry philosophy
35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:35-36, NIV My hurt is burdened for those who are … Continue reading “My ministry philosophy”
Another Anniversary of Sorts
Today marks eleven years since I became officially divorced from my Cheater. I probably would have forgotten that fact if not for running this blog and seeing an old post marking its passing. That is how insignificant the date has become now. This day is a day that I could not foresee when my divorce … Continue reading “Another Anniversary of Sorts”
Need to be assertive
After learning about the cheating, it is imperative to be assertive. This is why anger is helpful. I struggled with this one, honestly. The fear of the future and wishing to avoid divorce at all costs–initially–led me to make mistakes. The advice out there for Christians–especially–is generally unhelpful with this. It has a tendency to … Continue reading “Need to be assertive”
Terror of financial dependence
The terror of financial dependence is real. One way a nasty Cheater takes out their covert anger on a faithful spouse is to use their financial power over them. When the Cheater is the primary breadwinner, a new terror enters the equation with infidelity discovery: What will I do to meet my needs if they … Continue reading “Terror of financial dependence”
Don’t want someone’s pity.
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t want someone’s pity.”
What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Christians need not dig very deep to figure out what went wrong in a marriage when adultery occurred. Modern psychology and so called “Christian” counseling might disagree with me. However, I am very adamant that we do not treat adultery as a side issue or symptom to … Continue reading “What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.”
Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV The way many pastors preach about divorce you would be forgiven if you thought this verse from the Ten Commandments read: “Thou shalt not divorce!” This is a problem. It means we have a poor theology of marriage and divorce in our churches. Victims of adultery are … Continue reading “Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!”
“Wilting Daisy” Ploy
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. – I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Let’s get something straight… A crushed “delicate flower” or a “bruised reed” does not have the energy … Continue reading ““Wilting Daisy” Ploy”
A Decade as a Board Certified Chaplain
Herod was furious when he realized that the wise men had outwitted him. He sent soldiers to kill all the boys in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, based on the wise men’s report of the star’s first appearance. -Mathew 2:16, NLT Satan threw everything at me a little over a … Continue reading “A Decade as a Board Certified Chaplain”