“You gotta ask yourself, ‘Why did she HAVE TO leave you?’” – Cheater Apologist This is a loaded question. The person stating this is engaging in a reasoning fallacy and attempting to trap you in a less than favorable light. If you even attempt to answer the question, you will lose. No good way to … Continue reading “Why did she “HAVE TO” leave you?”
Souls are my focus!
“For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven.” -Matthew 22:30, NLT We were not made for human marriage. Our eternal relationship is primarily with God. We were designed to worship and serve Him like the angels. Some pastors … Continue reading “Souls are my focus!”
Financial Reliance
One of the hardest parts of adultery discovery and divorce is how it can be financially devastating for the faithful spouse. Cheaters know this. I think some use it as another emotional cudgel with which to beat their faithful spouse. They use their financial power to terrorize their (soon to be ex) spouse. I think … Continue reading “Financial Reliance”
Grief Surprise
Recently, I was driving to a friend’s house and feeling a little sad. Initially, I could not put my finger on what was putting me in the funk. Then I realized… …it was my “trauma-versary!” A little over a decade ago, my (now) ex-wife called and confirmed my worst suspicions. She had–indeed–been sexually active with … Continue reading “Grief Surprise”
Give thanks ALWAYS!
16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. -I Thessalonians 5:16-18, NLT When going through infidelity discovery and divorce, it is too easy to focus on what we have lost and the injustice of it all. We start losing sight of what … Continue reading “Give thanks ALWAYS!”
Preach naked and only then will I consider following Hosea’s example!
…the Lord told Isaiah son of Amoz, “Take off the burlap you have been wearing, and remove your sandals.” Isaiah did as he was told and walked around naked and barefoot. Then the Lord said, “My servant Isaiah has been walking around naked and barefoot for the last three years.” -Isaiah 20:2-3a, NLT To the pastor insisting … Continue reading “Preach naked and only then will I consider following Hosea’s example!”
Quick test of “professionals”
Question: Do you believe cheating is abuse? Anything less than an unequivocal “Yes” is a sign that this professional will attempt to blame you for the cheating. They will engage in some version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie“–namely, you are partially or fully to blame for the cheating. It is a simple test: one question. … Continue reading “Quick test of “professionals””
An “innocent party” in divorce?
Is there such thing as an “innocent party” in a divorce? Yes. I struggled with this question when fighting to retain my minister’s license years ago. Psycho-babble (and evil along with it) is winning when we cannot identify or distinguish between the innocent party and the perpetrator. Now, I understand those who say we all … Continue reading “An “innocent party” in divorce?”
Technical Website Issues Resolved – We think!
The last few days the website with experiencing some difficulties. I apologize for that. One of my “plugins” was misbehaving. Thanks to some expert help, we are back up and running! The links should now populate and work.
You do NOT owe them agreement!
While an abusive cheater may act otherwise, he or she is NOT entitled to your agreement. They might want you to agree to a blasé narrative about why you are divorcing absent all mention of their marriage-ending sin. They might want you to agree to never bring up the cheater partner. They might want you … Continue reading “You do NOT owe them agreement!”