While an abusive cheater may act otherwise, he or she is NOT entitled to your agreement. They might want you to agree to a blasé narrative about why you are divorcing absent all mention of their marriage-ending sin. They might want you to agree to never bring up the cheater partner. They might want you … Continue reading “You do NOT owe them agreement!”
Thoughts On IHOPKC ELT’s Initial Findings Re:Mike Bickle Allegations
“After three weeks of examination, IHOPKC has identified five of eight alleged victims. Three of those five have publicly called the allegations lies, a fourth has not wanted to communicate with IHOPKC’s attorney, and the fifth’s allegations relate to incidents that preceded IHOPKC’s founding. Further, it became apparent that the Complaint Group did not have … Continue reading “Thoughts On IHOPKC ELT’s Initial Findings Re:Mike Bickle Allegations”
Hymn Encouragement: Truth About Fiery Trials
“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.” -“How Firm a Foundation” (Public Domain) Discovering a spouse’s infidelity certainly qualifies as a “fiery trial!” I love the following line about … Continue reading “Hymn Encouragement: Truth About Fiery Trials”
On “brutal honesty”
With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape. -Proverbs 11:9, NIV Ever notice how an excuse for acting with cruelty is often couched with the virtue word of “honesty?” The cheater might talk about just being “brutally honest” where the reality is that they are just “brutal” in the … Continue reading “On “brutal honesty””
Once thought we were “rock solid”
Part of my blindness in my first marriage was thinking we were rock solid as a couple. Maybe you can relate? I naively believed that cheating and divorce was something that only happened to other people. It certainly wouldn’t happen to me and my marriage. That sort of thinking is what made the whole experience … Continue reading “Once thought we were “rock solid””
Had choices to make and made bad ones!
“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” -Joshua 24:15, NIV I do not buy … Continue reading “Had choices to make and made bad ones!”
Why bother?
Why bother working on a marriage where one party is treating cheating as a secondary issue? Your cheater (and anyone supporting them) is telling you how little they value your well-being when they treat the affair(s) as secondary or derivative issues to the marriage. They are deprioritizing your healing. You cannot “fix” this. The Bible … Continue reading “Why bother?”
Clergy Sexual Abuse Is SO Damaging!
2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. 3 And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, “Is … Continue reading “Clergy Sexual Abuse Is SO Damaging!”
Demons are “believers,” too!
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder… You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. -James 2:19, 24, NIV What if my Cheater claims to be a Christian?! They can claim that identity all they want. Demons believe in … Continue reading “Demons are “believers,” too!”
Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk”