“Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels….'”
– Matthew 25:41, NKJV
Somehow evangelical theology has become so twisted as to promote a distorted picture of God.
This picture states that God is always in pursuit of those who have rejected Him and His ways. It is a model of God’s relationship with humans used to guilt adultery victims into taking back their soul rapists or forces them into being stuck in perpetual pursuit of their cheater. Hosea is often misapplied here to support this heretical idea.
Such a teaching forgets that God takes our choices seriously.
He does not force us to follow Him. And He will hold us accountable for our decisions to reject His ways as these words from Jesus make vividly explicit.
God does not pursue the unrighteous indefinitely!
And saying the “right” things does not protect one from damnation as this parable–i.e. “The Parable of the Goats and Sheep” from Matthew 15–illustrates. The goats wondered why they were being sentenced to damnation, and Jesus makes it clear that such a sentence follows from failing to worship Him in deed caring for “the least of these.”
A cheater and his/her supporter can have all the “right” religious verbiage. However, as “The Parable of the Sheep and Goats” from Matthew 25 clearly teaches, verbiage without the actual care will only earn one a ticket to the everlasting fire of Hell.
God loves the world (see John 3:16). However, Jesus is making it clear in this parable that He will still judge and damn some members of the world for their choices and actions of rejecting Him and His ways.
A fuller and more accurate theology regarding God’s relationship with humans takes this reality into consideration. It teaches us that God loves us too much to dismiss our decisions to reject Him in our deeds. True, God is a God of reconciliation (see 2 Cor 5:19); however, even God refuses to reconcile with those who have rejected Him in the end.
God’s grace and God’s holiness are character traits that must never be disjointed. Yes, God extends His mercy and grace to sinners like you and me. However, He requires holiness of His people. And He will reject those who have rejected Him in the end as His holiness dictates.
Those faithful spouses who choose or accept divorce are no different, in my opinion, than God accepting the rejection of those who refuse to live as His followers. Yes, it is sad. But such a rejection does not mean God or the faithful spouse is lesser because of it.
It just means the adulterous individual is unrighteous and has chosen darkness over walking in the light.
Another great insight DM. There were so many things my church told me after D-Day and this was one of them. I was told that God will pursue the heck out of my ex, to which I responded that He doesn’t mess with free will and if she doesn’t let Him in He’ll stop knocking. I know Him and he WILL leave you alone if that’s what you really want, even though it breaks His heart.
Yep. God will let you follow your own stubborn ideas if that’s what you want. Not that someone can’t decide to come back to God after being stubborn, but sometimes it takes a long time if it ever does happen.
Psalm 81:12-16
“But no, my people wouldn’t listen.
Israel did not want me around.
12
So I let them follow their own stubborn desires,
living according to their own ideas.
13
Oh, that my people would listen to me!
Oh, that Israel would follow me, walking in my paths!
14
How quickly I would then subdue their enemies!
How soon my hands would be upon their foes!
15
Those who hate the Lord would cringe before him;
they would be doomed forever.
16
But I would feed you with the finest wheat.
I would satisfy you with wild honey from the rock.”
Thank you for listening to God’s calling.
I was so disappointed in the Christian community of my hometown and of my church, that I actually searched the Muslim leaders responses to Adultery. GOD promptly directed me to this website several weeks ago.
My “not soon enough ex” husband is the City Administrator of My hometown. My family has ties, several generations deep in that community. That connection helped land him his job.
The City doesn’t charge churches for water or sewer use. i now believe its like front loading the pieces of silver. The support of his actions, have been unbelievable. Our minister, at my kitchen table, responded to our Adult children’s revelation of the affair that he had spoken to their “Daddy” and he said he wasn’t having an affair and he believed him. Our Associate Minister met with my husbands mistress and told me I shouldn’t be a “hater”. As the mistress lives with my husband in the home he evicted our married daughter’s family from. I was told my husband was attending a small church outside the city limits, I called to speak to the minister there, when my husband and his mistress was pictured together on the website. I asked if the picture could be removed until the divorce was finalized. I didn’t mention it was hurtful and confusing to our Son. I didn’t think I would have to explain how having a photo of an adulterous couple could be misleading. Maybe I didn’t see the heading of “we see adultery through to the end”. The conversation ended with me saying something along the lines of “Good thing there’s no need of fighting a crusade or standing up for Christian values.”
Months later I saw this minister, he accompanied my husband, the mistress, with her sister and my brother in law at our divorce trial. He was there the second trial date with my husband and his mistress. This time I asked GOD to open my ears and my heart and if there was something I could learn from this man of God, please let me hear it. GOD IS SO AWESOME ALL THE TIME!!!! The one actor that my husband and I agreed on as being the worst is Steven Seagal.(no offense to his other abilities). The Minister went on and on about his love of Steven Seagal and what a great actor he is. I Thanked GOD then and I thank GOD now for his physical presence in that action.
My divorce is still not final and it has been 3 years. My husband doesn’t want to pay what the Judge has awarded. March !8 th we are scheduled for another half day. I am encouraged that in other areas of Missouri government a stand has been made against infidelity. and leaders have resigned. My hometown has chosen to keep a leader who texted 6600 to his mistress in one month. Not counting phone calls and emails. While living with their families. Unfortunately I didn’t take the steps I should’ve taken in regards to his Porn use and abuse in the marital bed . So to bring it up now in divorce, I’m told by my attorney, only looks like I’m a Scorned woman.
Welcome, Rhonda! Wish this website was unneeded as no one was dealing with adulterous betrayals. It is very sad that the minister responded so poorly to your situation. Glad to hear that you have seen God’s hand with you through this, and may you experience God providing for you on March 8th!
-DM