“I ‘m not gonna pick sides in this,” says a Christian “friend.”
A person saying this is communicating to the adultery victim that they think something could justify their victimization.
Let’s be clear:
They ARE picking a side. It is the side of the adulterous spouse. This helps evil flourish.
This is not a godly response to faithful spouses seeking support.
If a battered spouse came to this same friend explaining how their partner beats them, I doubt many of us would consider such a “neutral” response godly.
“I’m not gonna pick sides in this” response allows the abuser to continue the abuse as he or she is not faced with pressure to stop.
Adultery is abusive. It might not manifest as leaving visible bruises. But I assure you that it is deeply wounding.
“I don’t want to pick sides in this” response is a declaration of indifference to another’s acute pain.
Such indifference disqualifies them from being a true friend as a true friend cares about such pain.
“Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.”
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*A version of this post ran previously.
