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I just found you website. I am so thankful. I was married for over 27+ years. My X-husband has had multiple affairs even with my x-friend. She have 7 young adults. He thought it would be better to tell th e kids about the affairs while they all were all in school. I had to deal with the end of my marriage an the emotional wellbeing of seven kids. It was not easy. I was lead to believe that it was my fault because I was going to school and working part time and taking care of the house and kids. I was told that I needed to pray more and forgive him, but I still needed to be a good wife. I was told that God would hold me responsible for his salvation and his girlfriend salvation. I was to pray for both of them and wait for him to come home. Even after her married her just twenty days after the divorce was finalised. I still have people telling me that marriage is for life and it is a gift. I have read and joined several email cities that encourage that the faithful spouse has all the shame and responsibility. I was informed that I should make him look good in the eyes of the kids. I would like to email you for more scriptures and a better understanding.
You are not responsible for another person’s salvation. Not your ex-husband’s. Not his girlfriend/wife. Not even your children’s. We each are answerable for our own choices and actions (see 2 Corinthians 5:10), and that includes our decision/action to accept or reject God’s call to repentance and offer of salvation.
You can email me at info@divorceminister.com
Sorry we have 7 young adults.
He married her after the divorce was finalised.
I still will not talk to him, some of our children talk to him. He tells people that God wanted him to be happy and what ever he does is forgive. Because he is God’s favorite.
His god wants him to be happy. The God of the Bible tells us that “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching…” (John 14:23b, NIV). Those teachings include the Ten Commandments, which he obviously has broken (likely more than one) to “be happy.”
Thank you so very much for putting the truth out their. I was fighting with myself over what I should do. The now adults are starting out on there own paths in life. God Bless you and your family and all that you do to bring this out into the world.
Thank you and God Bless.
Daphne
You are most welcome! Glad the blog has helped you. -DM
I was a christian since childhood and had a very sad life since i was born, i tried to be a good christian and do the right things, im not perfect but i did my best. I need some help to understand some facts. Im a very sick person with a life threatening condition, i work a lot sometimes more than 12 hours day plus weekends, my efforts are to fullfill the command of Christ in 1 Timothy 5.8 and for it I gave all and sink on debth. My job is far many miles from my home and i travel every day, on few years i had many oportunities given from satan to eat forbidden meat, many womans asked for sex but I refused for love of God, its on the following list:
1st quarter the coworker AA wanted cheat her fiancee with me, she was very pretty – i refused
2nd quarter the coworker AB wanted cheat her fiancee with me too, she was very pretty too – i refused
4th quarter a married woman that travel with me on the same bus everyday wanted cheat her husband and offer herself to me on scandalous way she was really actrative – i refused, she got ashamed and asked me to forgive
7th quarter another woman on bus that travel with me on the same bus everyday wanted cheat her boyfriend offer herself to me on scandalous way too she was really actrative – i refused too
11th quarter another woman on another bus that travel with me on the same bus everyday wanted cheat her fiancee offer herself to me she was really actrative – i refused too
11th quarter another woman on another bus that travel with me on the same bus everyday wanted cheat her boyfriend offer herself to me she was really easy – i refused too
15th quarter one day i losted bus and a woman on metro wanted cheat the boyfriend, she begged to stay with she, she was amazing pretty – i refused too
16th quarter the coworker AC wanted cheat on husband and told me a lot of bad things about her lazy husband – i refused too
16th quarter the coworker AD wanted cheat on husband telling me to have sex whith she on a desert place inside our workplace – i refused too
18th quarter the coworker AE wanted cheat on husband, she waited until I be alone on office and got naked – i refused too
Im telling about only woman wanting cheating but there is other i refused for not being christian womans.
All above can make someone think i havent libido and that was easy, believe me, wasnt, my libido make my blood boil inside my veins.
Some months before the 16st quarter above i started a relationship with my loved one, that time she already had an infectious contagious incurable condition and bone deformities by birth on all her flat body but i never had a prejudice about it, instead i give all love i was able, she always told me how i was romantic and sweet with she.
She insisted 3 months calling me almost every day, i told so many times about my life threatening condition and the command of Christ in 1 Timothy 5.8 that make me without funds to buy a candy but she told me many times she dont care and wanted me, i loved she so much and she was a christian woman then God approves it.
I agree with she to wait until our marriage and worked harder to find a way to marry she, i havent enough to a bonbon box but doing all at my reach to marry and be a good husband, i dreamed a lot with our little future daughter, i dreamed on give my love all life to she.
She was a CHEATER, and very agressive, i was always sweet, she called me so many times dog, she told me that she desired the other male members of the church and look to all of then, she told me was rubbing her buttocks on coworkers, told me about mens asking she to have sex on elevator, she never allowed me to toutch she, she one day called me on my job by the early morning to tell me was talking all night with another men of church and was curious about his taste, wanted try it and told me the worst things possible, humiliate me, i blood a lot that day, my body reacted, i losted the little health i had, since that day im a dead one, my heart still beats and i still breath but im really dead, i know its hard to belief but trust me, the physical death to someone on my condition is a bless.
I spent my money to fullfill Christ commandment and not in a brothel, so many times my corworkers invited me, they are so happy with they wifes and sons, im alone, dishonored, sad, sick, dead and ashamed, some of coworkers listened all while i was on phone and laughted at me asking me if i went to church to be betrayed, my cowork told me i was better married with a brothel prostitute than with a church woman, told me that prostitutes are more loyal, told me to stop being a dumb and enjoy life on brothels, asked me if God is worth of being served, told me he workship satan and never was cheated by his cheated wife, i remembered Job on that time, on bible God reward Job with much more than he had but i think ton of gold today cant make me happy, nothing can, nothing than my physical dead and God revenge, Deuteronomy 32:35, are worth to me, its only things i still dream on this life. She is from Christian Congregation and there people believe on prophecy, a “prophet” threatened me with death from pulpit in favor of she, everyone inside church know what she did and everyone was at her side, everyone protect she and another well know wicked persons, there one married “profet” caught many times on bed with other mans and everyone almost workship he. Satan wanted feed me many times with juice and forbidden meat but i refused, then God rewarded me with a dry, deformed, infected and treacherous bone that was my loved fiancee. I never will trust nobody on my life.
My question is: Why im sick, disonored, dead inside, alone, poor, thinking about suicide all the time, years with insomnia, tormentad by satan that ask me every second if all that effort was worth while she is heath, honored, alive, with her husband and progressing ? Today i losted hope on God justice and just ask to die but God refuse to kill me, he want to have joy looking to me while im sick, disonored, dead inside, alone, poor, thinking about suicide all the time, years with insomnia, tormentad by satan that ask me every second if all that effort was worth. The worst persons I ever meet i meet inside a church, God denied me even peace to die.
I asked on a christian forum before but some christians like censorship.
What people think about it ?
Karl,
You asked a common question. I’ve asked it & hear different versions of it throughout my day working in the hospital. “Why do bad things happen to good sincere people including Christians?” I believe it is because of SIN is in the world.
People who visit this blog are victims of the sin of adultery and many of us have been hurt by people in the church. We are encouraged by Pastor David & each other. We understand each other’s pain and suffering. We know that God does not take joy in watching us suffer. We trust that He will bring good out of what Satan has planned for evil.
I hope that you can find a support group for your physical illness. It helps knowing that we are not alone in our struggles. I have a condition that I have to accept as well. I don’t like it, but I must accept it and always remember that God will never leave me or forsake me!
@Nyra, Thanks for your nice words, after years i still cant sleep, i havent peace a single second in my life, i found a very caring doctor that is trying to help me, i need update my knowledge to get a job and help my parents and brothers, being cheated made me so sick that i lost my job, im so outdated, these last years im so sick to learn anything. It’s very difficult to believe that God cares, every detail on my life tell me that he doent care at all. I was responsible for billions every month and was good at my job, today I feel useless and incapable, being of very poor origin it was difficult to compete with so many for college scholarships, i did and graduated but I feel that even this is lost, that bitch was the worst thing ever on my life. My all best wishes to you.
Karl,
I’ll confess I’ve struggled to believe God really cared for me as well, mostly because of the adultery, divorce, job loss and health problems with hpv. Over time, however, I’ve started to see God’s care and concern. I wanted you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. You sound like a really great person. Someone who is a bright light in a dark world. Reading Psalm 73 and Malachi chapters 3 and 4 helped me. I mention it in case it brings you a little hope or encouragement as well.
Thank you Karl.
I didn’t see your reply until just now when I read Janna’s encouragement to you. Please check out her scripture references!
Sickness & betrayal can be incredibly painful. I’m so sorry you are still suffering deeply from both. Hang onto your faith! Don’t give up on yourself or God. He loves the overcomer & promises that He will work everything out for the good of those who love Christ Jesus. Those promises are for you!
It seems like many women deal with this type of situation. And of course I have too. But my husband has cheated for the first 18 years of our marriage. He has been a pastor/prophet for 15 years now. In my denomination is none like no other. I don’t have a board or Elders to talk to about his behavior. I am making preparations to leave, I have talked to him about it each time he got busted. One of his affairs was with someone in our church but she is no longer a member. She told everyone but because she was such a liar and had a horrible reputation people didn’t believe her. I am no longer in love with him. My kids are grown and i really don’t want to leave the church but I don’t want to be with him. Many others wives in our faith have suffered but have learn to accept their husband behaviors. I am already miserable I don’t want to continue to grow old and still be miserable. I have talked to him about us separating and he is in denial but i don’t care. And now for the last 2 years he has struggled with erectile dysfunction due to high blood pressure and he claims hes not doing anything….well of course not now but it doesn’t matter my feeling are not going to change.