“I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do.”
-I Corinthians 5:1a, NLT
I played four years of collegiate-level football at a small liberal arts college in Minnesota. It was a good experience for the relationships I developed over those years even though we weren’t very good as a team (five wins out of forty games).
Like much young adult male culture, a twisted view of masculinity was present in those years where it was clear that having sexual relations with women was portrayed as bestowing “manhood.”
Even in this dysfunctional presentation of masculinity, some things were clear:
If a dude was caught dating two girls at the same time and was dumped by both from such a discovery, we would not have offered him much sympathy. It was a self-inflicted wound. You do not date two girls at the same time! And if you do, then you assume the risks of loosing both for your risky, deceitful behavior.
By saying this, I am just pointing out how things seem so much clearer on matters of cheating when we talk about the commonsense we have regarding the dating world. A decidedly non-Christian culture had more clarity and moral fortitude on issues of cheating than much of the evangelical church today.
You mentioned in an earlier post about missing some of the “red flags” behind the guise of Christianity in a mate.
Since I had met my husband as an adult, I assumed he had grown up from his double timing high school days, that I realized to late he seemed to brag about. Plus he stated he was a Christian. When I found the photo of the prostitute he had been with while in the Marine Corps he was either married or engaged to his first wife. He laughed about the photo. There was pornography that he promised he wouldn’t watch anymore, but what was “my” problem with it anyway. Then finally 22 years of marriage, and there was the whore.
The double timing dating matters and there will be the girl who sells out and hangs on because she thinks she has won a prize.
It “hurts” as teenagers but it “costs” as adults and it traumatises families.
My advice to young people now is, if they aren’t the person you would want your kids to grow into, steer clear of them.