What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 1:9, NIV
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:10, NIV
The Bible holds timeless truth. Today’s Scripture is an apt description of human behavior in light of adultery. It speaks to the calloused denial many of us, faithful spouses, face in confronting a spouse caught in adultery. They feign (or maybe even believe!) that they did nothing wrong.
Proverbs is an excellent book full of wisdom describing especially human to human relationships. The writers of Proverbs are not naive individuals. They know how humans react when caught in serious, adulterous sin. This has not changed even over literally thousands of years. It testifies to the inspired nature of this book–i.e. its timelessness.
My ex-wife certainly qualifies an an example of this proverb. According to our last communication, she still lives in denial of having ever done anything of substance to me in the ending our marriage (and this after admitting in writing plus verbally to sexual infidelity while we were married).
She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’
Why write a blog pointing out adultery as wrong?
Why be so adamant about the damage of adultery?
Well, as this proverbs illustrates, this is a message some people need hearing. It is a message a whole category of people deny according to Scripture. And it is a message victims of adultery need to hear in validating their pain. It is important for all.
How can an adulterer/adulteress repent if they do not see anything wrong with adultery? The answer is that they cannot.
True compassion says an adulterer/adulteress did something wrong. And true compassion says adultery is not just bad–it’s horrific. It is soul rape.
Let’s not reinforce the lie: ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’
Yes, yes, you did.
Thank you so much for this post and this blog…it’s long overdue..:-)
My estranged husband has been unfaithful to me from the time we met until now. I suspected all of that time but didn’t have any hard evidence to prove it long ago. When I went to the church about it I was told to stop judging him and look at my own sins. I was told that this was the persecution that GOD was calling me to endure for Christ’s sake. So, stop complaining about it and pray about it instead. I was scolded and scorned for voicing the pain that I was going through. I felt like I was the problem child for letting my pain be known. It seemed as though my brothers and especially sisters in the LORD were trying to convey to me that this was the only way that I could die to my own flesh and sinful ways by carrying the burden of my husband’s sin. What I need to ask is —- is there any truth to this? That we should we suffer quietly like Jesus did during His Passion and let GOD cleanse us from our own sin by carrying the pain and burden of our spouse’s sin? Please, somebody answer my question. For I walked away from the church a few years ago due to this confusion. I need help and understanding.
Sheila,
My short answer to your questions is “No.” We are called to confront and expose sin in the church (see Mt 18:15-17) as opposed to accept it. More to come later in its own post featuring your comment. Glad you found your way here!
Hugs,
-DM
PS Here’s the link to my more lengthy response: http://www.divorceminister.com/mailbag-was-this-the-persecution-that-god-was-calling-me-to-endure/