He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross. He will purify the Levites, refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord.
-Malachi 3:3, NLT
Discovering infidelity is certainly a fiery trial.
We can allow this fire to refine us as many of us, faithful spouses, do. After infidelity discovery, we do work on ourselves and grow through this awful, awful, unjust experience. Many of us discover a backbone and set appropriate boundaries with our adulterous abusers.
Sadly, I have noticed Cheaters usually do not grow through the experience.
Why would they? They are convinced the problem is located outside themselves. It is the marriage–aka YOU!
Maybe your Cheater even laughed at you when you suggested they needed to do some work on themselves?!
They are stuck. And they do not like you are moving on without them. So, they might try to suck you back into old arguments and patterns. Don’t take the bait.
Cheaters are free to believe whatever they like. However, we do NOT have to agree with those (distorted) beliefs.
