They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.
-2 Thessalonians 2:10b-12, NIV
It is choice each of us must make:
Will we cling to the truth or the lie?
This passage from 2 Thessalonians is talking about the end times. It is especially directed at those who refuse to believe Jesus is alive and Lord. However, I think it is very applicable to situations where infidelity is present.
Cheaters are committed to their lies.
Some I believe are so committed that they can no longer distinguish reality from the falsehoods that they have fabricated. These sort of cheaters are convincing liars because they genuinely believe the lies they speak.
They refuse “to love the truth” as this passage says.
A danger any faithful spouse can experience is joining the cheater in refusing to love the truth. It is easy to do because that truth is ugly. It says evil was committed against the faithful spouse. He/she was soul raped!
We must not join in such lie-love, though.
Another part of this passage tells us where those who love wickedness end up. They are condemned. That is what this passage teaches. Such is a sobering truth.
Those who support such delighting in wickedness–and adultery plus lying is certainly wickedness–are supporting the condemnation of those engaging in such behavior. That is not true love. It is hate.
This is one reason why a Christian ought never to delight in a cheater’s joy over his/her relationship with the Other Man/Woman. One is delighting over wickedness and the cheater’s own spiritual destruction.
The cheater might be having genuine “fun” now; but, Scripture teaches that “fun” does not last eternally. It ends very badly for the cheater.
We must each guard against loving lies–i.e. wickedness–and for our genuine friends, we must encourage them to love the truth. The love of lies leads to condemnation and utter destruction.
This is very timely for me. I just told my STBX that I was praying for his soul (and I meant it). He said that I didn’t need to pray for his soul because he was covered under God’s grace like anyone else. Uh that’s a pretty powerful delusion if he thinks God’s grace is a free pass to sin, keep on sinning and not be repentant in any way and not change his behavior. And what is funny, when he said that to me I remarked to my friend how delusional he was and how he lacked any concept of reality. I guess it is hard for me to understand why God would send him that delusion- I guess that just means God knows he has a hard heart.
I just found this site. After reading what I thought was the entire internet on the subject, this has been the most helpful. After 22 years of marriage, I am mid divorce following a slow discovery of an affair my husband has been having for at least a few years with his employee. As I stumbled on clues, I confronted him in agony and he not only denied, but began to degrade me with many more lies, verbal and (mild) physical assaults. The evidence kept mounting as did the lies (those I was able to figure out) and I detached. One afternoon for almost no reason, his rage at me caused me to finally file for divorce.
My husband, while continuing to deny his affair and frequent visits to strip clubs, insisted that I was the evil one for breaking up our family. He tried everything short of owning his real issues to get me to stop the divorce. One tactic was visiting our priest (we are Catholic) with the hopes that He could change my mind. I am very proud to say, after I met with the priest myself, he supported my decision to divorce, actually told me that it was my duty to my kids to end the cycle of abuse in the family. I am proud to know that my church is changing attitudes using common sense.. And my husband’s last ditch effort backfired.
Now, my stbxh is creating lies about me to discredit my word regarding the reasons for divorce.
To say this has been painful is an understatement. However it has alleviated any shred of guilt I had over the decision to divorce.
My sanity and ability to trust my instincts have a long way to go to recover… But blogs such as this are incredibly helpful.
Much deep gratitude for your eloquent and frighteningly accurate posts.
Welcome to DM! Glad the words here have been a balm to you. Also, it is good to hear of your Catholic priest…encouraging to know some more sane priests/ministers are out there as well.