Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
-Romans 12:9, NLT
Real Christians hate adultery because adultery is wrong!
You would think this is a given among Christians and pastors, but faithful spouses–like myself–have discovered otherwise.
This good hate is conspicuously absent.
In fact,I wonder how many who read here have ever heard a pastor preach about good hate. You know, the sort described here in Romans 12:9. Good hate is the kind where one hates wrong and evil.
Good hate reflects God’s heart towards wickedness.
If we do not hate in this way, I think it is reasonable to question whether God resides in one’s heart. God is not neutral on matters of wickedness.
Now, plenty people are willing to agree to hate adultery. However, their actions and other words suggest tolerance as opposed to hatred towards this evil.
They make excuses explanations for the cheater’s behavior as opposed to taking a stance of hate towards it as God instructs them to do.
It is past time for us as Christians to stop tolerating this wickedness. Hatred of evil is a virtue, NOT a vice. And that sort of hatred ought to be extolled more!
My ex-pastor said he “wasn’t to judge, just to love.” The pastor physically embraces my ex-lying, cheating, adulterous husband. He’s welcomed with open arms at the church I used to attend. He continues to be a leader of young boys. Everyone knows what he’d done, but they don’t care. I don’t get it! My best guess is my ex did a smear campaign at church that I don’t know about. He lied and smeared my good name with his co-workers and friends by telling them I’m “crazy”, so I wouldn’t doubt one bit he lied to the church people too.
If people are really connected to God and know his word, you’d think they’d be able to spot a wolf in sheeps clothing. Like the Holy Spirit would tell them something wasn’t right with my ex and that’s he’s lying. But they continue to embrace him all the while he’s leading a totally different life outside of church. God sees it all!
Very enlightening! I’ve experienced this firsthand….back in Feb. I discovered my husband of 20 years had been having a 2 year affair. About 2 weeks later I discovered that my MIL, who prides herself on being an ‘upstanding Christian woman’ who attends church twice a week, knew about the affair! I caught my husband by using a hidden recorder in his car, & he uses Bluetooth, so not only did I hear him but also the other person. I got to hear my MIL ask all about what the adulterous got him for his birthday, oohing & aahing over the gifts….& when discussing a local restaurant she automatically ‘assumed’ that his lunch had been w’this other woman….not his wife or his teenage twins! She then later in the conversation told him all about a nurse at her Dr’s office, who attends the church that my MIL works at in the nursery, about how pretty she was…..& she’d LOVE for Brian to meet her!! My husband of course denies that his mom was aware of his affair, saying that she was under the assumption that the adulterous was just a ‘business acquaintance’. Me & my MIL have had many conversations about my husband’s business including all the different ‘co-workers’ that he does business with, but never once had my MIL talked about this woman to me! She knows that I’m aware (& upset) about her asking all about & having sweet conversations w’Brian about this woman, but has not acknowledged it in any way shape or form to me, despite the fact that I no longer speak to her nor does her 17 year old granddaughter. She did send me a passive aggressive text shortly after I discovered this info, basically saying that she has unconditional love for her son & I will never change that (not that I would ever even try to do such a thing) & that she wanted to be kept completely OUT OF IT, she wanted to hear nothing. Her quote was ‘I don’t want you putting mean words in my brain to replay over & over’. I was around her at Christmas, for the sake of my kids & husband. I was polite, didn’t cause a scene, but I didn’t even come close to acting w’her the way I did before all of this! What blows me away as well is she was married for approx 25 years before divorcing Brian’s dad, & he cheated on her off & on throughout most of their marriage….so she knows the pain & heartache of infidelity firsthand! I’ve typed an email to her, but not sent it because she’s basically told Brian (& myself in a round about way in her text back in March) that she will not read anything from me. Oh don’t get me wrong she’d love to talk to me now….IF I acted as if her son did nothing wrong & especially that she didn’t do anything wrong!
I have so much pent up hurt, anger, feelings of betrayal (by him AND her), & frustration of not being heard. I can’t talk about this w’my husband because he becomes very defensive of his mom on this subject! It will undoubtedly lead to a major argument. I totally understand & have for my twins unconditional love, but I can’t imagine the day that I’d stand by knowing that one of them was committing such a sin, & the hurt & pain for my own grandchildren that would be created by this selfish sin! Not only am I trying to recover from discovering my husbands betrayal but my MIL’s betrayal as well. Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice? Thank you all so much!
SC,
I plan on posting a response as its own stand alone post. Stay tuned…
-DM
Here’s the link to my thoughts: http://www.divorceminister.com/mailbag-enabling-mil/