“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

-I Corinthians 13:11, NIV

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

-Popular Saying

God has given us the ability to learn from our life experiences.

I believe this is what makes the adage “forgive and forget” so dangerous. We do not want to forget the lessons that we needed to learn from harmful encounters. That is to reject this important gift from God–i.e. the ability to learn and grow from our life experiences.

While I do not relish all the abusive experiences I have endured in my life, I am grateful for the lessons they have taught me. I have become less naive and quicker to spot abusive manipulation.

I wonder if that is part of what is meant by the words in Isaiah 54:16-17 (NKJV):

“See, it is I who created the blacksmith
    who fans the coals into flame
    and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
no weapon forged against you will prevail,
    and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
    and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.

God uses the fire of our life experiences to temper us and teach us in order to be better suited to deal with the tactics of the demonic or fleshly realm. I know this has been true for me.

This does not give the abusers an excuse for the abuse! They are still wrong, and they will have to answer to God for their sins (2 Cor. 5:10).

What I am talking about is the redemptive power of God. He can take some of our most painful experiences and use them to His glory!

By walking through the fire, we are taught the path to help others in similar trials. God can redeem that awful experience by forging you into a guide of sort.

This is what this website and blog is all about. That is why I wrote my book, Cheated On. 

I am sharing the hard won lessons I have learned from my difficult life experiences and professional training as a pastor.

This is not the path I would have chosen left to my own devices. Yet God has used these experiences to shape me and make me a better man plus better pastor.

I am grateful for the gift God has given me of my ability to learn. His ongoing redemption of these hard experiences speaks to His love of me and fills me with hope that I truly am being changed from glory to glory in His Presence.

 

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*A version of this post ran previously.